Is my girlfriend growing apart from me?
Oct 17, 2012 at 3:23 PM
A: You’re not being crazy, you’re being realistic. This isn’t high school puppy love anymore. She is getting out there, meeting people and enjoying her newfound freedom. College isn’t just for obtaining degrees. It’s about new experiences and realizing there is more to this life than the county lines most of us grew up in.
I’m sure you both promised to be true to each other and you wouldn’t allow anything to get in between you. It usually doesn’t happen that way. Sure, it would be great if everyone married their high school sweetheart but that’s just not the world we live in and apparently not a part of her plan.
It’s a big world out there and she is obviously making the most of her college experience and so should you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, clean yourself up a bit, and go meet some new friends of your own. This doesn’t mean you both can’t have some kind of relationship; it simply has to be redefined.
Q: Why won't my girlfriend kiss me? It sounds weird and a little pathetic to say. But we've been together for about six months, and we haven't even kissed yet.
I'm definitely not the type of girl to initiate anything, and I don't think I ever could be. I have a lot of stuff in my past that she knows about and I think she may be afraid that if she gets too close I'll freak out or something. When she puts her arm around me, I twitch a little, which is just a reaction. So I don't know if that's it or what.
I've tried to explain that I don't care if she does and that I won’t freak out but I'm so bad with words. I tried to tell her that I'm not someone to start stuff but I don't think she understood what I was saying. I've tried almost everything. I mean we get close and all cuddly and such but she always ends up kissing my nose or something. We're always that "cute best friend couple." It’s more of a friendship than anything. I see other couples being couples and I just wish that's what I had with her. I respect why she hasn't but I'd really like us to have more of an actual relationship. How can we be less of an awkward couple?
A: If you haven’t received a kiss after six months, it’s fair to say it isn’t going to come so don’t hold your breath. There’s a reason the two of you are known as the “cute best friend couple.” She gives Eskimo kisses and you twitch when she touches you. Pathetic? Questionable. Awkward? You bet!
When there is chemistry between two people, it comes effortlessly. The first six months of any relationship should be the most energetic, the most passionate and the most indulgent. The two of you sound more like a botched science project.
It’s time for you to stop playing coy, grow some confidence, and make your move. If she doesn’t graciously respond in a positive manner, either she really only thinks of you as a friend or she is struggling with her sexuality. Frankly, maybe you are as well.
Each week in the Sunday Register, “Ask Eda” features two questions and answers on all things related to human interaction — love, dating, relationships, families and the workplace. Readers can email relationship questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or mail Ask Eda, Sandusky Register, 314 W. Market St., Sandusky, OH 44870.
Advice columnist Eda M. Handly left her job in the legal industry to start a life-coaching and relationship-advice business based in Sandusky. Her website is love-sources.com.