BLOG: Please support Newt Gingrich for president

Tom Jackson
Aug 3, 2011

The race for the Republican nomination for the party's 2012 presidential candidate is under way. I'm not a Republican, but I have a favorite candidate, anyway: Newt Gingrich.

You might think that I'd support Ron Paul or Gary Johnson, as they are the candidates who most closely mirror my opinions. Paul and Johnson support peace with other countries instead of war, ending the war on drugs, abolishing the abuses of the Department of Homeland Security, and so on. These positions are too sensible for the American electorate and virtually guarantee neither gentleman will move into the Oval Office.

So, if we can't get a rational GOP national leader, can we at least get a president who will entertain us while Washington is ruining our lives?

Gingrich clearly can fill that role. This is the guy who brags to the press about his 1.3 million Twitter followers, while neglecting to mention that most of them are fakes.

(To be fair, the alternative explanation is that 1,326,118 Americans like to read Tweets such as, "The wrestling club had great brats and sauerkraut at the Mitchell County Fair. Met the wrestling coach from U of Northern Iowa.")

His entire campaign staff quit en masse because his current (i.e., his third) wife wouldn't let him campaign hard. ("Campaign sources say the candidate’s top aides also were upset over Callista Gingrich’s control over the campaign schedule, including her refusal to allow early-morning departures for campaign events because she insisted she needed time to have her hair done.")

Gingrich began his affair with Wife No. 3, 23 years his junior, while he was pushing to have Bill Clinton impeached for having an affair and covering it up.

So was he having an affair with a young blonde because, well, that's what men do? Of course not. It's because he loves his country and works too hard, that's why! ("There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.")

If Newt is elected president, all sorts of government nonsense might be short circuited, or at least delayed, by the new first lady. Imagine Newt trying to convene a cabinet meeting to double the size of the Department of Homeland Security but having to cancel because it conflicts with his wife's afternoon tea.

I also look forward to seeing what the new first lady's pet projects will be. No offense, Michelle Obama, but I'll bet Callista Gingrich's programs will be more interesting than getting kids to eat their vegetables.

Comments

EddieOs

nm

IKnowIambutWhat...

Hey Tom, you gonna give an equal opportunity shot at the Dems too?

meowmix

Absolutely love this column!!!!!  

YAWWNN

He doesn't need to give a shout to the Dems, they'll be running the incumbent, and everybody already knows how worthless he is.

Centauri

You might think that I'd support Ron Paul or Gary Johnson, as they are the candidates who most closely mirror my opinions. Paul and Johnson support peace with other countries instead of war, ending the war on drugs, abolishing the abuses of the Department of Homeland Security, and so on. These positions are too sensible for the American electorate and virtually guarantee neither gentleman will move into the Oval Office.

So, if we can't get a rational GOP national leader, can we at least get a president who will entertain us while Washington is ruining our lives?

@ Mr. Jackson

Clearly you are only jesting. You wrote the positions of Ron Paul or Gary John are too sensible for the American electorate which I agree. Perhaps you should have used the word citizens or voters so that the simpletons can understand simple English?

eriemom

 Centauri: To which "simpleton" do you refer? The large part of the electorate that does not agree with you?

Pete

eriemom,

Centauri has been having a major fit since the kickback scheme in Perkins got brought out in the open. Go look at a few of the stories about it. He has posted around ten comments in a row over it.

And we thought TP had major issues. At least TP only rants once or twice a story then his meds kick in

Centauri is almost having a breakdown!  http://www.sanduskyregister.com/...

excel

hahaha @ newt gingrich... Ron Paul is clearly the only sensible play here.

The Answer Person

And now I shall vomit...and not in a car on Wayne Street.

Erie County Resident

It's official. Tom Jacksons photo has been photo shopped into a negative print quality.

He is actually Tom "Rufus Sanders" Jackson.

The face has changed but the (lame) opinions remain the same.

If this article was an attempt at sarcasim it missed the mark by a country mile. With the way things are in this country right now humor in politics does not work.

Now you forgot to tell us again just how great and wonderful Obama is, your slipping.

KURTje

Newt   =     Draft dodger.

Taxpayer

Poor Newt.  He HAD his big chance when he WAS Speaker of the House.  Then he got the BOOT!  I cannot believe he is entertaining the idea to run for President of the United States.  His own campaign staff all QUIT because of decisions being made by his wife.  Almost sounds like another John "reach across the aisle" McCain.  We already have a FAILURE of a president in the WH, we do NOT need another.  By the way, ANY of you crybaby, loyal, UNION, democrack liberals receive an invitation to the president's birthday celebration?  How about it Marcy Kaptur, did YOU get invited??  Come on, it is going on in Chicago, just a short drive.  Oops, you must PAY $38K just to be in the same room with the anointed one during his campaign/birthday celebration.  Ha! Ha!  And HOW many of YOU demonized the rich?  Ooo, those EVIL rich people!  I guess YOU were fed another LIE of liberal BLAMING talking points while the person YOU voted for coddles with the RICH.  Can any of you freaks explain that?  No?  NO SOUP for YOU liberal losers!  Ha! Ha!  Hey, maybe you can send him a card with YOUR "sacrifice" for his birthday.  You know, like ALL the teacher's UNIONS paying $10 EACH for his campaign?  Yeah, that will work.  FOUR MORE YEARS!  Ha! Ha! 

eriemom

 I guess taxpayer is a little upset at not getting an invitation.

Centauri

@ Eriemom

The simpletons are those who believed that the Sandusky Regurgitator was all factual and serious news, even after SARCASM SATIRE was added. They still didn't get it.

Don't mind Pete.

Pete believes all propaganda or anything that a newspaper puts to print.

Pete and Summerbreeze are like two peas in a pod.

Pete doesn't have a clue of why I posted the comments.

Pete thinks that I am another fiscal officer in another township.

You have heard that some people here use multiple aliases. I do the opposite. I have already stated that I will post comments for those who are too bashful or shy.

That went over Pete's head.

Pete stated that I was having a breakdown. I went up against a mob, including Pete, that started attacking Schaefer and provided another side to the story. I would do the same for any other person in public office who I felt that the newspaper was unfairly attacking. I did not see the newspaper attacking the former convicted Perkins PD chief.

Pete wants people to hear only one side. Brutus Smith provided another side to a political debate. Notice that Brutus Smith is now gone.
 

Pete

Poor little Centauri, loses his/her kickbacks then has a breakdown

Sad really

I'm living rent free in your head aren't I?

Lots of room in here though. Rather spacious

Oh, and I didn't have to pull a permit or kick $20 back to anyone to do the job they are already paid to do so I could move in

So free on multiple fronts!

The New World Czar

Reporting on Newt's tweets is one thing, but I think Tom Jackson has bigger and better things in mind...like having the opportunity to write for the Elyria Chronicle or Morning Journal.

Taxpayer, keep up the good work.

007

@ Erie County Resident:

I defiantly see the correlation of Rufus The Dufus and Action Jackson!!

GoBigLex2001

Ron Paul...I wish Rick Perry would enter the race.

EddieOs

Gawker received a tip from a former staffer, saying that Gingrich had paid firms to create fake Twitter followers; search company PeekYou analysed his follower list, and found that 92% of them were dummy accounts.

Centauri
Centauri

http://www.november.org/razorwire/rzold/05/0526.html

Newt Gingrich, Speaker of the House and Paragon of Virtue, recently stated that drug dealers should be shot and that if enough of them were, it would solve the problem. Not long ago in Nogales, Arizona, two 69 year old grandmothers were arrested with 400 pounds of marijuana in the trunk of their car. Newt would have them hustled out with a flour sack over their heads and their brains blown out against the international boundary fence, Not, of course, if it was his grandmother-only yours.

Gingrich is the architect of H.R. 41, a bill that would require the death penalty for anyone smuggling one hundred dosage units of an illicit substance across the border. That's about two ounces of marijuana

Newt Gingrich has admitted to smoking marijuana, quite possibly more than two ounces and we sincerely hope should his bill pass the House, that retroactivity clauses be put in place: we want to see Newt with a flour sack over his head, too, along with everyone else.
 

anthras

Mr. Jackson would be wasting his money if he took the MENSA test

bucknut36

 I hope Newt wins and picks David Vitter for his V.P. choice. Then all of the Republicans can talk about "family values" and tell us how immoral the Democracts are!!!

eaglesJerseys

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ERUTRJ

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roseJane

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