BLOG: Can men and women be "just friends"?

Tom Jackson
Jan 10, 2012


A Utah State student, wondering whether men and women can be "just friends," tries to settle the question by interviewing every student he could find in the library. (He wanted to know what the scholars would say).

The women all said yes, the men said no:

I found this video at the excellent  Kids Prefer Cheese blog. It  features an economics professor from my alma mater, the University of Oklahoma, and a political science professor from a less prestigious school, Duke University.

About the video, the Duke prof, Michael C. Munger, comments,

Now, the Bishop and I know that married men can be just friends with women.

First, we fear our wives enough to know we had better not even think about anyone else.

Second, if we piss off our wives, we are going to be "just friends" even in our houses for several nights. "Honey?" "Don't touch me..."

I settled another pressing question in this blog when I pointed out that polygamy can't work in Ohio.





Phil Packer

 Yeah, if one or both are GAY.

Kottage Kat

This article is not clear, are you asking if MARRIED men can be friends with a woman, or just men in general.  Clarify, and I will respond. I don't get videos.  Thank you       Kat


yes they can...i am best friends with a male friend and i would not have it any other way :) the things we have been through and how much he has helped me i dont know if another female could have done better...and he is not gay


 whitetigerchic...your best friend is HOPING that one day you will be his

Local Resident

Sure, friends with benefits ;)



I say no . Men are just that way and if he says he can , he is a liar . Ok , liar maybe too stong a word . More like unrealistic , because I believe men may want to be friends but that sexual scenario will always be in the back of our minds . When it comes down to it mutual respect is what we as men can offer, but otherwise given half the chance , he'll climb right into her pants.


I say yes.   And yes I like sex (with a woman).  Why should men be sterotyped?


"Ditto" to; philpacker and bluto

Scientists say men think about sex about 3 times a minute. can a guy be "just friends" with any female? MINIMUMALLY.......he has checked out her backside for ...ummmm...."future reference".


You mean like Jerry and Elaine; The Deal episode. This and that………..


 i've got quite a few friends that are female, with no past or future relationship possibility, so i don't think i can agree with this


Tru Grit

 Yes, I have many great friends that are women and they are just friends, I don't think about having sex with them or a relationship further then being friends. It is possible to think about someone in a non-sexual manner, I feel some people on this site, male and female just don't have the ability in there brain to do such a simple thing. 


@ Tru Grit: Speaking of "brain"....Ummm...try "their" in lieu of "there". (Just tryin' to help!)

Phil Packer

 At least the guys in the video were honest. The women just want to have control. Wow, what a shocker.

Jason Werling

Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally (Meg Ryan) sum it up pretty well here....


With one exception...maybe...



I obviously can't speak from a male perspective, but I can tell you that MOST of my friends are men. They really are just friends, and none of them are gay (though I have had some very close gay friends in the past as well). I tend not to be too fond of most women. Sorry.


Sure men and women can be friends but if either one of them has a significant other then of course they cannot be "best of friends".     When I was single I had a few male friends also but that was only after we tried a relationship and both agreed that friendship was the only choice.

And to SamAdams---I've always thought that women who find it difficult to be friends with other women generally have some type of insecurity that they need male friends only to reassure them of their worth. I just can't see discussing menopause with a male nor more than I could relate to his prostate woes.    You didn't need to say you're sorry--we women don't really miss the company of people like you.

Westend Homeown

dang someone pissed in someones meowmix this morning



Maybe THAT'S my problem! I have no desire to discuss something like menopause with ANYbody who's not my doctor.

But if it makes you a little less catty about the whole thing, the truth is that friendship with men has little to do with my own self worth and a whole lot to do with the fact that I like a lot of things that more traditionally fall into the realm of a typical man: Action movies (I think romance movies are all too often stupid); football (I admit I like figure skating, too, but love a good football match-up); target shooting; and a whole lot of serious science fiction. Find me a woman that'll go to a SciFi convention with me, or who's inclined to talk about politics and NOT about menopause, and I'd be a whole lot more interested in a whole lot more female friends!


SamAdams... I don't like any of the things you listed...but I am watching UFC ( Randy Couture is kicking a$$) lol...No, seriously..I have found a lot of women to be sneaky, drama whores...I tend to stay away from them. 


Sam, would you be my BFF. We could go practice with my new Glock and whatever you bring. I enjoy long talks after firing off a few clips.



I love you, too. Call me next time you're headed out to the range. :-)