Should I worry about my boyfriend's female friend?

Anonymous
Dec 5, 2012

Q: My boyfriend has a strange relationship with his best friend who is a girl. We’ve been dating for a while now and he told me about this friend who recently moved away to Arizona and they're really close. He says that they had feelings for each other about two years ago but never dated and that he got over her a long time ago. But they're always exchanging hearts on each other's wall on Facebook and I feel like there's still something between them. He gets upset when I bring it up and we've had multiple fights about it. It's something I can just never seem to get over, yet I don't want to see him go. We almost broke up over it about three weeks ago, but he said he really didn't want to lose me. It's getting to me and I don't know what to do anymore.

A: Well, you feel there is still something between them because there is, a history and a long-standing friendship. Just because you have entered the picture doesn’t make people in his past disappear and they will likely remain to some extent in his future. If they are best friends an insignificant heart on his wall is simply a small symbol that they care for each other. Mature individuals are able to do this without fearing someone will take it the wrong way. I’m sure he gets upset over it because your reactions are making him feel like you don’t trust him. It’s not like this girl is a threat, she’s thousands of miles away and you don’t speak of any other reason why she may be a force that could interfere with your relationship. Right now, your insecure attitude about the situation is the only destructive energy. Confidence will keep a man much longer than jealousy.

    

Q: I’m going to a concert with two girls, a friend and her sister, and I’m not sure how to behave. I don’t really like going to clubs and parties because of the dancing and I’m more introverted so I’m not much of a people person. I kind of like the girl but our relationship is weird. We started out sort of dating in March and just lost contact over the summer. We recently started talking again not long ago and she invited me to join her and her sister to this concert. I’m just a bit nervous as I don’t know her sister and I don’t like dancing but I don’t want to seem boring either. I’m not sure if she likes me or not so I have no idea if I should act like it’s a date. I’ve been to a few concerts and it’s usually just me sitting enjoying the show not up dancing and acting goofy. I really don’t want to blow it with this girl.

A: Not sure how to behave? How about just being yourself? No one said you had to be an extrovert flailing around like a star-struck-tween at a Justin Bieber concert. Obviously this girl likes you just the way you are otherwise she wouldn’t have invited you to begin with. So you don’t know her sister, big deal. This is not only a chance to meet someone new but also get in good with the family if you like this girl. Maybe she simply wants to put a little cushion in between the two of you while she feels out the situation. Maybe they both simply happen to be fans of the artist and she remembered you like the artist as well.  Whatever you do, do not go with the faintest notion this is a date. If this were a date, she would tell you and she wouldn’t have her sister tagging along; at least I hope not. All you have to do is go to the concert, enjoy the show, and the company. Let the rest fall into place all on it’s own.
 

Comments

Cowboy

Ha ha ha is that what he calls her? You should be very afraid!

SandTownBry

Really?????? I bet if u didnt bring it up all the time then there would be no fights if u cant trust your man then your the one with the issues .Shes all the way in AZ and hes in Ohio with you.Who cares about facebook thats all it is.is just that face book u can love someone an not have to be in love with them.And if she was in his life befor you came into the pic then u need to except that.I really wish i was the one answering the qustions for people becuse i bet half the qustions asked are asked to someone that hasnt been through half of it.but yet they wanna give advice.lol cracks me up but on that note be happy hes here with u and not there with her be happy hes n your bed an not hers.if he said he didnt wanna loose you and u have a hard time beleaveing that then i think your the one who needs to take a step back n relize your inscure..or just get over it men come an go friends are forever.!!

wowbagger

Ok here it goes. *you *you *can't *you're *she's *he's *you *before *picture * you *Because *questions *because *questions *has'nt *want to *he's *you *he's *in *her's *did'nt *want to *lose *you *believing *you're *realize *you're *insecure
If i missed any I am sorry.

Good 2 B Me

*Clears Throat* Has'nt? "Hasn't" is the correct way. Oh yeah, Didn't is how Did'nt is supposed to be spelled. Way to go busting someone's junk while doing it completely wrong yourself!

Normally, I am not the Grammar Police, but it had to be done since you were hammering this other person so hard!

wowbagger

@Good 2 B Me
Thanks for the corrections. It is hard to wade through a whole paragraph without making a few mistakes myself! Another reason why I am not a editor I guess.

Good 2 B Me

No problem! Don't you just love the mess that today's youth are? They spell things wrong so much that I think they really don't know the correct way to spell some words!

wowbagger

I rarely comment at all, But that paragraph hurt my head to read. Hopefully it was done on a cell phone and not a actual keyboard with all the letters that were neglected.

Licorice Schtick

Pettiness hurts my head to read.

NurseRatchet

*an editor

Eda M. Handly

SandTownBry, I have more experience in love, dating, and relationships than most people care to admit to in their lifetime, hence, why I do what I do. I also believe my advice was very similar to yours, albeit a tad more eloquently put.

doratheexplorer

*accept

asweetnessabove

Don't forget the spaces after periods. Good grief, what is wrong with kids these days. I mean come on, I'm only 24 but I do not use grammar so negatively! They need to listen and pay attention in school. Then again, I may just be a nerd because reading and writing (literature and English) we're my favorite subjects. :)

BW1's picture
BW1

REALLY?

"I do not use grammar so negatively!"
"because reading and writing (literature and English) we're [sic] my favorite subjects."

wiredmama222

Well we are all going to have to get used to it. They are not teaching as much spelling and contractions in school anymore. I had a mother tell me that just the other day while waiting in a line. Her child couldn't spell a simple word. It's because of the use of computers in schools. They depend on spell checkers. Isn't that wonderful! I almost fell over. So grammer is out the window as is correct spelling and any hope of sentences making any sense. Pretty soon we must all be able to read what they write as if it is like a text. God help us all.