Mega drama queen, unwillingness to admit when I am wrong and my lack of motivation may possibly be my worst qualities. My lack of motivation, dramatic personal life and my addiction to food has led to a roadblock in my weight loss and exercising.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when my friends eat. I eat when I'm lonely. And I eat when I am bored. My life pretty much revolves around food and when I'm going to get it again. I remind myself of a crack addict who cannot wait until she gets her next fix. What really bothers me is that I really don't think I have ever eaten because I was truly hungry. I eat out of emotion, not out of hunger.
Yes, food is very good and, at times, comforting, but the reason we have food is not to pig out and feel miserable about ourselves; food is what we need to fuel our bodies. We need food that is going to give us natural energy and fuel our cells, not candy and cookies to widen our waist lines.
I was feeling sorry for myself this past weekend, something I do more than I should. I was pissed that I had not been to the gym in two weeks and upset because of issues in my personal life. I called my mom asked her to bring me over some ice cream. Thanks mom, I never got the ice cream. Through the tears, I had a wakeup call. Why am I feeling sorry for myself? Why am I crying? Everyone has stresses and I'm sure some people’s stressors are serious problems.
My stress is because I work and I don't seem to have enough time to clean the house every day or do all the laundry at night. This is not stress, this is me whining. Now, I know why my friends always tell me to stop whining. These are things I have to deal with. I also have to deal with the fact that I have three children. These children are my responsibility and if I am unable to find a sitter for one day than that means I don't go to the gym that one day ... not miss three or four days because I'm acting lazy.
I have been give an awesome opportunity and I am not going to sit around anymore looking for some excuse to fail. As hard as it is for me to admit when I'm wrong about things, I'm admitting that I have been wrong about how I should be achieving my weight-loss goals. I'm heading down a new track. I know that lack of motivation is not going to get me across the finish line. I'm human, so I know I will have my bad days. I'm just not going to have bad weeks anymore.