City Manager Lays Self Off

Bryan Dubois
Mar 23, 2010

 

S A N D B O X -- O H I O

In what is being described as a unique situation in the ever increasingly dysfunctional government in Sandbox Ohio, city manager Matt DeKline has taken the drastic step of laying himself off in order to save money for the city of Sandbox.

"Of all the employees under the direct control of my mismanagement, I'm probably the biggest dissapointment of all," said DeKline, "And so I'm taking it upon myself to lay myself off."

"I've brought on unecessary litigation by creating highly embarassing circumstances and I've been nothing but a blight on the city of Sandbox," DeKline continued in a shocking display of honesty.

"I certainly don't deserve a job in public service because the only thing I'm really worried about is furthering the agenda of those who hired me instead of providing efficient, quality basic city services to city residents," DeKline continued.  "I've only made a few major decisions so far in my short tenure and they've been on the basis of wrongheaded priorities and sheer disregard for truth and honesty in government."

City commissioner Dan Kamansense believes that DeKline is being unsually hard on himself.  "I think a little personal dishonesty would do his fragile self esteem wonders," said Kamansense, "Although I do agree with his decision to lay himself off," Kamansense said.