I am really in a mood to write.
I have no idea what about, but really, I never do until I let the words just flow.
I think one of my biggest problems when I sit down to write something for the Sandusky Register is I know people are going to be reading it.
Duh, that’s the point, right? Yes, but at the same time, it does make it harder to focus with the pressure of an audience.
Like I said before, I’m through trying to please anyone, so I’m going to let you all have a little peek into my gray eyes.
I want to see what happens when you all discover who I really am, alone, when no one’s watching. So for just a second, I’ll pretend you’re not reading this ... and I’ll just write.
Lately I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety.
With another year of school almost gone, it’s got me feeling very nostalgic, not to mention nervous. Too soon, I’ll have to enter the real world. I’m not sure if I’m ready.
I’m excited, yes. But in the same respect, there’s a certain amount of fear that comes from plunging headfirst into the darkness of the unknown.
Am I ready? Is anybody ever really ready to take that step into the next part of their life?
I’m positive I’m not the only one who’s ever felt like this.
There are a lot of teens my age facing the same feelings of uncertainty mixed with fear, excitement and an overwhelming feeling of just wanting to run back to the days when mommy and daddy could protect us from anything terrifying.
I just wish more people would discuss it with each other.
Maybe if we were able to talk to each other more about important things such as this, there wouldn’t be as large of foreboding.
Knowing you’re not alone is probably one of the biggest comforts any one could ask for.
I remember the summer I was 12, just shortly before I was about to start middle school, crying out of fear of growing up.
I mean it had seemed like elementary school whizzed by, and I had suspicions that middle school was going to be the same.
I sobbed knowing that I was going to be in high school soon, and then college and then what?
I was at wits end of what to do.
Rescue me, Peter Pan! Don’t let me grow up.
But in reality, every one does. We may get excited to gain access to new privileges such as driving, or voting, having jobs or starting families.
With all these privileges of growing older come responsibilities.
Teenagers never lose that child-like angst of being scared to leave their comfort zones.
Adults old and young would be dirty liars if they said they never wished they could go back.
People grow up, though. Life goes on.
Despite all these mixed feelings I have about starting my adult life soon, I take great comfort in knowing that I have two years left.
Well, one year and seven months to be more precise.
My suspicion is this last little bit of time I have left is going to be gone before I know it ... and I intend to make the most of every moment.
Whether I will be shaking in fear on the inside or not, I know I’m not the only one, and I refuse to let that worry hold.