There are approximately 20 days left in the FIT Competition 2010. I am sitting here and struggling with what to write.
There are so many things going through my head right now, such as:
* Gary has probably won this competition. Guys deal with stress a lot differently than women do.
* I am an emotional eater, and sweets are my Achilles' heel.
* So far, December has been nothing but stressful. Stress = work and work = stress!
* Stress inhibits fat loss. Biologically, why is that? I work retail and I HATE holiday retail hours!
* I am so freakin' stressed!! No time to go Christmas shopping and only 11 days 'til Christmas.
* I'm not decorating for Christmas this year. I haven't had the time to clean my house; I'm not decorating a dirty house.
* We're not even putting up a tree. With only 11 days 'til Christmas, why bother? It takes a lot of time to decorate a tree. I only have two days off between now and Christmas, they are Wednesday the 15th and Tuesday the 21st and my husband Scott is not available to go shopping either of these days.
* Scott is working days, I am working nights and we're supposed to go Christmas shopping together?
* Maybe I have no clue how to plan my time.
* This weather has interfered with getting my car out of the driveway, talk about drifts!! Wish the wind would stop beating us up out here in no man's land. Thank God for my in-laws who will be picking me up and taking me to work today. Yesterday, Scott took me to work and picked me up.
* I feel frustrated, depressed, sad. I miss my husband.
* I miss having me time, us time. I've been told that going to the gym is "me" time, something I do for myself. But, I am thinking more along the lines of scrapbooking, sewing, reading, hanging out with my friends, cleaning and painting the inside of our house. Things I want to do and not necessarily have to do. I want to go away with my husband for a weekend far far away. That would be phenomenal; we never had a honeymoon nor a vacation.
* I will NOT work retail another year during the holidays; I no longer want to be a slave to my job!
* My body does not handle stress well. I continue to work out at the gym and at home; this helps with the stress but doesn't eliminate it. My stress manifests itself physically with headaches, stomach aches, lichen flare ups, and increased occurrences of chest pain that feels like heartburn, as well as an increase in hot flashes.
* I'm either at the gym or at work. I don't feel like I have time that is completely my own.
Yes, I may be having my own personal and no longer private pity party. Sympathetic or not, let's be honest, we've all had them. Somehow sharing my thoughts aloud with complete strangers has helped to make me feel a little better.
Thank you for attending my party.