Sandusky Regurgitator: SPD Begins Public Outreach With 'Bad Cop Bingo' Cards

Bryan Dubois
Dec 18, 2010

Plagued with a string of embarassing disciplinary issues, Interim police chief Jim Lang is announcing a new public relations plan for his department. 

Last week, former drug dog handler James DeSalle was placed on administrative leave for lying about using tobacco while on duty.  In 2009 he was under investigation for having 50 grams of methamphetamine in his locker. 

"Some of these incidents are a result of plain sloppiness, which, in my eyes, is just as undesireable as cops who are intentionally criminal," Chief Jim Lang said. "They're supposed to be standard-bearers."

The department also recently suffered public embarassment as one officer was caught urinating in front of the police cruiser into the Sandusky bay.  Another was arrested for drunk driving.

"This department is pretty relaxed right now.  Some of our officers are acting like undisciplined clowns while on and off duty," Lang said.  "Sometimes embarassment is the only way to straighten an organization out," said Lang.

For this reason, Lang says, he intends to heighten the scrutiny on individual officers who embarass the department.  Design work has started on BINGO cards that will contain pictures of 25 of the most likely cop candidates to run afoul of the law.  Citizens will be invited to play "bad cop bingo" by stamping out the pictures of each cop who gets caught breaking department rules, or the law, which brings general disrepute to the Sandusky police department.

"We'll announce which officer is guilty of the infranction, whether it be urinating on camera, drunk driving, storing unauthorized controlled substances at work, pandering to minors, writing false police reports, whatever - and the citizens can have some fun at the expense of the misbehaving cops.  Somebody has to embarass these clowns into line, and it should be the city of Sandusky," Lang said.  "If you get five in a row, call the station, hollar 'BINGO!' and you could be the lucky recipient of a new or used bicycle we'd normally auction off in the spring-time."

The Bingo cards will be available early next week.  Lang said that the department is also planning on releasing "Garbage Pail Cop" cards after the Bingo contest is over.

~~~

SR Watcher recently visited Firelands Regional Medical Center for routine lab work.  After receiving efficient, professional outpatient medical care, he stepped into the elevator where he witnessed an older gentleman in a wheelchair thanking a nurse who was assisting him to his car after an overnight stay at the hospital.  SR Watcher listened intently as the older man lavished the young nurse with praise for how caring the hospital staff had been and how grateful he was for having receieved such compassionate and professional care right here in Sandusky Ohio.  As the elevator door opened at the bottom floor, SR Watcher turned to the nurse, furrowed his brow and said, "Pffft. This place ain't no Cleveland Clinic."

Comments

brutus smith

 Why do you think Fox wannabe a news network has so many followers? They don't question anything the Fuhrer, I mean Beck,  says.

C'mon people

Brutus...this is funny...I was at 250 and Perkins the other day when an elderly lady drove up beside me and I noticed a "Glenn Beck for President " bumper sticker on her car...what could I do but shake my head!

Sam

 When you saw the "Glen Beck for President" sticker where you going home on the van or bus?  I doubt if Beck would take the pay cut and reduced audience.  

C'mon people

Sam...funny...my own car.  I think it was the van that Return mentioned.

Return of Dragon

The best one in town is the mid 1990's van with the Glenn Beck for President Bumper Sticker and the handicapped license plate.

Julie R.

To Sam, who pretended not to know this was satire:

Why did you edit your comment and change the sentence that was specifically directed at the SR?   

Hottchickenbabi

Wait is this a serious thought Lang needs to gtfo with that....Thats not gonna do any but make his officers more cantankerous

Dick-Tracey.

I guess we know where SPD gets their police officers. THe CIRCUS!!!!

Lawdog

You bet they get thrie cops at the circus and the ring master is Jimmy Lang.  Just remember, it's not a police department it's a joke and you got a joker as police chief now.  Great way to get moral up Jimmy, go back to the park, that's about all you are good for.  Just remember it aint over till the fat lady sings, but Jimmy we can hear her warming up for you, also the bunnys are calling for you.

Pete

Looks like Bryan caught another believer of his SATIRE!!!!!!

Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Tweety Sees Eve...

This actually is one of the best stories that the SandPaper has posted. Maybe we have all been wrong all along.  Maybe the SandPaper is all satire and sarcasm.  We just missed the announcements concerning this issue.

Maybe we are all guilty of believing anything that they printed in the first place!

Factitious

This satire is hilarious (from "The Onion" on the web) --

In what has increasingly become an era defined by pandemonium, rancor, and blind ignorance, one stabilizing voice emerged from the din this year to soothe the souls of Americans everywhere, make us recognize the common decency that binds us all, and supplant the poisonous aura of fear and chaos with a simple, well-thought-out message of peace, prosperity, and reconciliation.

That man is television and syndicated radio host Glenn Beck. Every single day of 2010, Beck's quiet words of humility and reason have touched the hearts of all Americans, healing countless wounds and elevating the level of our national discourse.

<click here for the whole story>

Taxpayer

WOW!  This has got to be a joke right Sandusky Register?  There is NO WAY the FOP UNION and the work force of SPD will stand for this.  I bet Kim Nuesse is laughing because I bet she supports this.  She is probably HELPING Jimmy!  Ha! Ha!  My, my, the tangled web we weave right brothers and sisters of SPD??  I have NEVER heard of trying to enforce work rules or taking the "leadership role" like this.  I do agree that SPD and their "problem children" have been ALLOWED to act this way for a long time.  SPD has morphed into the public serving them instead of the premise of "protect and serve" the people.  Jim Lang is correct and would be derelict of duty to allow this to continue like the others before him.  But, to print "bingo cards" with their pictures in the blocks???  Ha! Ha!  I just cannot fathom this.  This has to be a JOKE!  There IS a place for public embarrassment.  Come ON!  The SR does it ALL the time.  How many blown up mugshots have you seen in the paper of losers or liberal politicians?  It is about public shame in hopes others do not follow.  The fear of your family or mother seeing such failure is despicable to many, but NOT everyone.  A few of you freeloader liberals think it is a "badge" of honor.  UNION employees think they are ENTITLED so they are taught not to comply because the UNION will get them out of it.  This crybaby mentality has been going at SPD for decades.  And they ALL know it.  I present to you the liberal UNION agenda.  I have heard and seen other types of radical leadership styles, but this is definitely HILARIOUS.  I still do not believe it.  Hey Jimmy Lang, if you can pull this off, good for you.  After all, you are the "interim" chief so you can do what you want.  SPD and the FOP have played ALL their cards out in trying to CONTROL who they want as chief.  They do NOT want anyone to tell them what to do.  They want a "business as usual" chief.  Hey Jimmy, I would like two cards of each.  They will become COLLECTORS ITEMS!  Ha! Ha!  I hope you get the results you seek.  This is very radical, even for you.     

Julie R.

Hey Dubois, I heard you're famous! I heard they talked about you at yesterday's city commissioner meeting. (how professional) I heard that some clown asked Chief Lang if your satire was the truth. (how juvenile) I then heard Julie F. whined about some satire you wrote about her once. ( even more juvenile) I then heard that Iscman said the Sandusky Regurgitator has been around for four years.( I didn't know that ) Nevertheless, if it's been around for four years how come some of these clowns like Sam (alias John Doe) are suddenly pretending not to know it's satire?

 

Sam

For the one who has "heard" much but listens and comprehends very little, satire"the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly," etc., you make it so easy...   You do supply humor to many, thanks for the laughs....

Julie R.

Obviously Sam you're the one that doesn't comprehend. The Sandusky Regurgitator, according to Don Iscman, has been around for 4 years but all of a sudden you and your buddies didn't know it was satire? I believe that's called feigning ignorance, which is something your 1920 county is known for.

  *Feigning ignorance applies to idiots that aren't just ignorant they KNOW they're ignorant.

Sam

Vocabuary word of the day for the one that entertains us with out being restricted by logic; Ignorance-"lacking in knowledge or training;  the unlearned. 

Taxpayer

The Sandusky Register is NOT shy about their opinion of the Sandusky Police Department.  I wonder if anyone should yank them for being so inappropriate and biased?  Oops, I forgot.  The liberal agenda is, "OK for us, but NOT for YOU!  You WILL OBEY!!"  Sound familiar?  So WHY would a totally liberal newspaper (WHO did YOU endorse for president to "prove" to YOURSELVES to feel good??) go against the liberal FOP UNION members??  Can anyone figure out WHY a newpaper is so HATEFUL to SPD?  Bingo cards with pics of individual "problem" officers?  Ha! Ha!  Is this truly news or is there something more to this?  This "history" of reporting reminds me of the liberal democracks in congress calling each other names and CURSING the president of the United States.  "OK for them to be RACIST, but NOT for anyone else?"  TYPICAL.  Ha! Ha!   

Julie R.

Personally, I didn't think this satire was even funny. On the other hand, to give credit where credit's due, I thought the satire coverage of the million dollar plus Nuesse fiasco was hilarious. I also would be curious to know who the somebody was that thought the satire about Julie F. was the truth. Considering how good some of these public officials in the 1920 Eeerie County legal system are at feigning ignorance, I wouldn't doubt it was one of them.

MoonDog44870

Moderators have removed this comment because it contained personal attacks. Discussion Guidelines

MoonDog44870

 I have to chime in again. Any person who has ever employed satire or enjoyed a good prank certainly can appreciate this piece. Of course the great literary critic Julie deserted her delusional victim act to state she did not find it funny, and maybe it wasn't funny, it wasn't supposed to be. What is outright hilarious is the fact that the piece was carefully written to the point of being plausible, to the extent that a citizen asked about it at the city commission meeting. That my friends is art. The point of the piece was to mock the community relations aspect of giving kids baseball cards (maybe at a sub station before having a "moment of weakness") while having officers pepper spraying scores of innocent people and shouting profanity at the GoodTimes dock.  The SPD is a joke. Lawless idiots protecting us. Then that people could imagine that Bad Cop Bingo is possible...delicious. Expect to see more issues brought to light through satire and hyperbole. There are quite a few of our public servants that need themselves examined and you better believe the Regurgitator is up to the challenge. Satire, when believable, makes us realize what a fine line between absurdity and incompetence will live on. So Julie R you can run your mouth all you want, show us your literary credentials first. The fact that a guy asked about Bad Cop Bingo on the public record has already validated the piece. 

Return of Dragon

Part of the reason for all of the confusion about this story is because in Sandusky.......... sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.  Just in the past year we had a $100,000 check go missing for months, the only current welfare receipient in the US elected to local government, a police chief fired and then elected to city commission among other things.  It is no wonder people become confused!

Julie R.

You can say that again! In Erie County the truth really IS stranger than fiction. Had I not seen it for myself,  I never would have believed it. If you're ever unfortunate enough to have to deal with these more than nuts Erie County courts-----especially that Probate Court----you'll end up thinking that you're smack dab in the middle of the twilight zone!  No wonder they call it Eeeerie County! 

Sam

She who consider herself a victim should consider the definition (noun) of a victim-"a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance," seem to fit our resident "victim"

Pete

Bryan, this is  the best Troll on the site EVER!

To actually get someone to stand up at a Council meeting and ask about these cards = JOB WELL DONE!!!!!

I congratulate you sir! You have my admiration!

(oh and Sam, her tin-foil hat is just too tight. Cuts off the circulation)

Julie R.

My comments sure do seem to get you going, Sam.

*QuitClaims Deed #20020236

This Instrument Prepared By:

Baumgartner & O'Toole 

This document and others are a matter of public record in the Recorder's office but for some odd reason they are not viewable on the Recorder's website. Oh my! You don't suppose the documents are FRAUD, do ya? 

Sam

Our professional victim has mentioned me 6 times in this blog. I have yet to use her name once, but if the tinfoil hat fits, wear it.  "My constituency is the desperate, the damned, the DISINHERITED, the disrespected and the despised.

Pete

Like I said before Sam, we were watching Signs and the scene came up with them sitting on the couch wearing their tinfoil hats. I laughed. My friend goes "why is that so funny?" I told her it reminds me of a commentor on the Register website

Julie R.

Geez, are you wackos STILL on here? Mr. Dubois has a new blog----haven't you seen it?

Julie R.

In the words of the Cuyahoga County crook Jimmy Dimora:

"THIS CORRUPTION PROBE IS NOTHING BUT A CONSPIRACY! THE FEDS ARE WEARING TIN-FOIL HATS!"

 

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