Sandusky Regurgitator: SPD Begins Public Outreach With 'Bad Cop Bingo' Cards

Bryan Dubois
Dec 18, 2010

Plagued with a string of embarassing disciplinary issues, Interim police chief Jim Lang is announcing a new public relations plan for his department. 

Last week, former drug dog handler James DeSalle was placed on administrative leave for lying about using tobacco while on duty.  In 2009 he was under investigation for having 50 grams of methamphetamine in his locker. 

"Some of these incidents are a result of plain sloppiness, which, in my eyes, is just as undesireable as cops who are intentionally criminal," Chief Jim Lang said. "They're supposed to be standard-bearers."

The department also recently suffered public embarassment as one officer was caught urinating in front of the police cruiser into the Sandusky bay.  Another was arrested for drunk driving.

"This department is pretty relaxed right now.  Some of our officers are acting like undisciplined clowns while on and off duty," Lang said.  "Sometimes embarassment is the only way to straighten an organization out," said Lang.

For this reason, Lang says, he intends to heighten the scrutiny on individual officers who embarass the department.  Design work has started on BINGO cards that will contain pictures of 25 of the most likely cop candidates to run afoul of the law.  Citizens will be invited to play "bad cop bingo" by stamping out the pictures of each cop who gets caught breaking department rules, or the law, which brings general disrepute to the Sandusky police department.

"We'll announce which officer is guilty of the infranction, whether it be urinating on camera, drunk driving, storing unauthorized controlled substances at work, pandering to minors, writing false police reports, whatever - and the citizens can have some fun at the expense of the misbehaving cops.  Somebody has to embarass these clowns into line, and it should be the city of Sandusky," Lang said.  "If you get five in a row, call the station, hollar 'BINGO!' and you could be the lucky recipient of a new or used bicycle we'd normally auction off in the spring-time."

The Bingo cards will be available early next week.  Lang said that the department is also planning on releasing "Garbage Pail Cop" cards after the Bingo contest is over.


SR Watcher recently visited Firelands Regional Medical Center for routine lab work.  After receiving efficient, professional outpatient medical care, he stepped into the elevator where he witnessed an older gentleman in a wheelchair thanking a nurse who was assisting him to his car after an overnight stay at the hospital.  SR Watcher listened intently as the older man lavished the young nurse with praise for how caring the hospital staff had been and how grateful he was for having receieved such compassionate and professional care right here in Sandusky Ohio.  As the elevator door opened at the bottom floor, SR Watcher turned to the nurse, furrowed his brow and said, "Pffft. This place ain't no Cleveland Clinic."



Lang should be ashamed of himself for referring to his officers with such a degrading "game". Also, how can he expect the community to respect the officers that do their job well when referring to the officers as "clowns" and making games of their decisions that must be made, right or wrong. If a wrong decision is made it should be dealt with as any employer should, which does not require the cheerleading and embarassment of the media. No person in a leadership role should ever degrade a subordinate in private like this, let alone publishing a statement in the local newspaper boasting such a description, I have found you cannot motivate anyone to take pride in their work while insulting them. Team atmospheres are always more successful and that is what a Police department needs to be run as, starting from the top. Regardless of your personal feelings, having a leadership role, especially one that should hold such respect as leading a Police department needs to be professional PERIOD...something Lang has just proven he is not!


 Anti-Liberal is right, no matter what the cops do wrong, the supervision should make excuses for them and justify their lawlessness, and if all else fails just say their actions were due to a "moment of weakness" let's have a big blue wall protecting the police from citizen review or any accountability. my kids collected all the policemen baseball cards and they are looking forward to playing "bad Cop Bingo". Does anyone have an extra Fitzpatric baseball card from the traded/updated set where he got traded to the Lucasville Lions?


At no point have I or will I endorse unlawful behavior. I am mearly stating belittling is not a professional approach to correct poor behavior. Nobody should feel the need to cover for or make excuses for bad work ethics or anything else the Police officer's may do. I know in my job if I do something wrong I am asked to justify my behavior to my supervisors. I have never heard of any other profession other than being a Police officer that a entity like the community can decide what should have been a better choice for an employee to have done in a specific situation. I am sure most people that participate in the continual bashing that goes on in these comment forums could never muster up the courage to put their life in harms way at a moments notice to protect others, yet they want to pretend they could hypathetically do a better job of it in a cowardly faceless setting like this. While some people beg for a "citizen's review board", I feel this will only divide the community from the officers further. We as normal citizens have no idea of the stress and split second decisions required to the job they do, so how can we with a lack of experience rationalize what should have been done as a monday morning quarterback does? How would anyone reading this like someone with no experience in what you do for a living decide how you could have better done a task and your fate because of the outcome? I know I have a hard enough time with people who used to do my job remembering what it was like.


AMEN!!! anti-liberal!  You said it best :0)


Bryan, I think you're going to have to change the name of this column to "The Onion" or something...just so people, you know, get it? Bad Cop Bingo. ::: snort! :::

Captain Gutz

If I win can I pick a unicycle instead of a bicycle? I only have one leg.





 I really wish that you could get credit if one of your cops smacks a pregnant woman in the head with a maglight or pepper sprays a few hundred people indiscriminately. I hope this style of management catches on and the rest of the government offices have their own BINGO cards, with all the theft in office and stealing diesel it could be a lot of fun.


This is a downright horrible idea. Whatever happened to management principle of praise in public and discipline in private? Is Chief Lang's picture on the cards? Or how about his command staff that let thisbehavior go on and develop over the years? This kind of behavior doesn't just happen over night. The Chief should be fired for even suggesting such as idea. What the Chief said through this idea was, I have no control over my subordinates, and I have no idea how to motivate them. I am unqualified as a leader because I or my staff enabled this behavior for years.

6079 Smith W


 Mr. Dubois regurgitates: 

"Chief Jim Lang said. 'They're supposed to be standard-bearers.'"

So why shouldn't citizens next expect healthy eating, exercise and an acceptable BMI to be the new "standards" for the SPD?

There's a goal: The fittest cops on the beat in the country!

Think about it: The guys getting pulled over by a svelte female cop and the gals confronting a buffed male one? 



SPD has its problems, what organization doesn't but this is the worst case of management style in history.  What he is saying is I can't handle the problems so lets make it a joke, he is clueless. I f Lang can't handle this department in a professional manner he should resign.  He is clearly not capable of managing a department of this size.  I doubt if Nuesse would have used this childish tactic.

Return of Dragon

The thing that concerns me is that this might be a short game.  Seriously, about every week a new story breaks about the unprofessional behavior of the local police.  At this rate, the game will be over in a couple days and I don't have time to pick up my card until Thursday

Norma J-C

If one thinks that Sandusky is a laughingstock now, wait till this hits the national news. The SPD will never fix itself by putting out a message that they're just plain stupid and who wants to work for unprofessionals like Lang. This is not going to encourage any new people to apply for work in this city if and when there are jobs to be found!


I"m calling "BINGO" on "Chief" Lang!!!! What planet does this guy live on where he thinks this is a good idea???!!! Calling his officers "clowns"?.....great leadership skills.... Clown Lang!!!


Even though Bryan put SARCASM, SATIRE  at the heading of his joke blog, some people still don't get it. Even if Bryan put out alerts THE REGURGITATOR IS A SARCASM, SATIRE BLOG. IT'S A JOKE. PURE FANTASY TO POKE FUN AT PEOPLE AND EVENTS. THIS BLOG IS FOR HUMOR ONLY. IT IS NOT FACTUAL.  People would still believe that Bryan is posting facts on the Regurgitator blog. Please note who these people are by their screen names below.  These people probably read Mad Magazine and think that Mad Magazine or the Onion is a news source.


Regardless if this is sarcasim, or satire Bryan, obviously most of the bloggers take it as the truth. Therfore, this (and most of your articles) borderline on defamation, and slander. You must be immune from the moderators. I have seen things removed for personal atttacks that don't come near the crap you write. Have a happy holiday season. Do so knowing that SPD will be protecting you and yours.


If I win the Bingo game, I don't want any new or used bicycle normally auctioned off in the spring-time. I want something else. How about a confiscated gun? That would be nice for me. Or a GET OUT OF JAIL card like in the Monopoly game would be another option. That way if I am arrested, I present my GET OUT OF JAIL card and the nice cop lets me go without an arrest record.



 Salvatore alerts commenter’s to DuBois bingo scam.  Dang it, I was having a good chuckle!  LOL!

Return of Dragon

Maybe the prizes should things that would appeal to more Sandusky residents.  The bikes appeal to many because they don't have drivers licenses, but for those that have licenses maybe the prize can be other things laying around the station like 50 grams of meth or assault rifles.


This guy is an idiot!!  Typical SR employee!

Erie Countian

Obviously some of you goobers don't recognize SATIRE when you read it.


 It is TRULY AMAZING to me how GULLIBLE the people of Sandusky are!  "SHEEP" comes to mind.... I don't know whether to LAUGH or CRY!

PEOPLE! EVERYTHING in PRINT is NOT GOSPLE!  THIS is what is WRONG with this country! People just blindly go along, reading a few headlines or sentences, and FAILING to COMPREHEND or RESEARCH what they read! 

This is SOOO SAD... I can only shake my head and "sigh."  : (


I have to admit I did miss  the sarcasm/satire, Why would a reporter attribute a direct quote to someone and call it satire?  Making up facts to create an article, they usually call it reporting or an editorial.


The right wing wacko's amazes me, no wonder they beleive everything faux news says!!!

LMAO at anti-liberal and the rest of the palinites !!!

Julie R.

Oh, come on already. The "sheep" on here knew it was satire----the majority, anyway. (especially Sam) Why they pretended not to is anybody's guess. Why Dubois has suddenly reverted back to the Sandusky Regurgitator is anybody's guess, also.  

C'mon people

Mr. Dubois...I enjoy your "stories" and all that you write.  Whether I agree or disagree I find intelligent debate in your posts.  Yes, you do often instigate but it is entertaining.  I read the posts often and have finally been prompted to "sign up".  When I had read the earlier posts, my jaw dropped...truly...I am dumbfounded.  People...please?!?!?!?!?!?  Do you not recognize satire?????



Julie R.

I didn't see Sam's last comment until after I posted mine.  He answered the question as to why they pretended not to know it wasn't satire.  In other words, us SHEEP should not believe anything the SR prints about public officials.

Try a new tactic, boys. This one didn't work.

Return of Dragon

What?  No effing bingo?  I just went out and got my good luck charms!!


C'mon people,

No. No, they don't recognize satire. Apparently, they don't read, either since the article is actually labeled "sarcasm, satire." On the other hand, since all of the indignant responses are pretty entertaining in and of themselves, maybe it's more fun this way. :-)

C'mon people're right...more entertaining