Sandusky Regurgitator: SPD Begins Public Outreach With 'Bad Cop Bingo' Cards

Bryan Dubois
Dec 18, 2010


Plagued with a string of embarassing disciplinary issues, Interim police chief Jim Lang is announcing a new public relations plan for his department. 

Last week, former drug dog handler James DeSalle was placed on administrative leave for lying about using tobacco while on duty.  In 2009 he was under investigation for having 50 grams of methamphetamine in his locker. 

"Some of these incidents are a result of plain sloppiness, which, in my eyes, is just as undesireable as cops who are intentionally criminal," Chief Jim Lang said. "They're supposed to be standard-bearers."

The department also recently suffered public embarassment as one officer was caught urinating in front of the police cruiser into the Sandusky bay.  Another was arrested for drunk driving.

"This department is pretty relaxed right now.  Some of our officers are acting like undisciplined clowns while on and off duty," Lang said.  "Sometimes embarassment is the only way to straighten an organization out," said Lang.

For this reason, Lang says, he intends to heighten the scrutiny on individual officers who embarass the department.  Design work has started on BINGO cards that will contain pictures of 25 of the most likely cop candidates to run afoul of the law.  Citizens will be invited to play "bad cop bingo" by stamping out the pictures of each cop who gets caught breaking department rules, or the law, which brings general disrepute to the Sandusky police department.

"We'll announce which officer is guilty of the infranction, whether it be urinating on camera, drunk driving, storing unauthorized controlled substances at work, pandering to minors, writing false police reports, whatever - and the citizens can have some fun at the expense of the misbehaving cops.  Somebody has to embarass these clowns into line, and it should be the city of Sandusky," Lang said.  "If you get five in a row, call the station, hollar 'BINGO!' and you could be the lucky recipient of a new or used bicycle we'd normally auction off in the spring-time."

The Bingo cards will be available early next week.  Lang said that the department is also planning on releasing "Garbage Pail Cop" cards after the Bingo contest is over.


SR Watcher recently visited Firelands Regional Medical Center for routine lab work.  After receiving efficient, professional outpatient medical care, he stepped into the elevator where he witnessed an older gentleman in a wheelchair thanking a nurse who was assisting him to his car after an overnight stay at the hospital.  SR Watcher listened intently as the older man lavished the young nurse with praise for how caring the hospital staff had been and how grateful he was for having receieved such compassionate and professional care right here in Sandusky Ohio.  As the elevator door opened at the bottom floor, SR Watcher turned to the nurse, furrowed his brow and said, "Pffft. This place ain't no Cleveland Clinic."



Lang should be ashamed of himself for referring to his officers with such a degrading "game". Also, how can he expect the community to respect the officers that do their job well when referring to the officers as "clowns" and making games of their decisions that must be made, right or wrong. If a wrong decision is made it should be dealt with as any employer should, which does not require the cheerleading and embarassment of the media. No person in a leadership role should ever degrade a subordinate in private like this, let alone publishing a statement in the local newspaper boasting such a description, I have found you cannot motivate anyone to take pride in their work while insulting them. Team atmospheres are always more successful and that is what a Police department needs to be run as, starting from the top. Regardless of your personal feelings, having a leadership role, especially one that should hold such respect as leading a Police department needs to be professional PERIOD...something Lang has just proven he is not!


 Anti-Liberal is right, no matter what the cops do wrong, the supervision should make excuses for them and justify their lawlessness, and if all else fails just say their actions were due to a "moment of weakness" let's have a big blue wall protecting the police from citizen review or any accountability. my kids collected all the policemen baseball cards and they are looking forward to playing "bad Cop Bingo". Does anyone have an extra Fitzpatric baseball card from the traded/updated set where he got traded to the Lucasville Lions?


At no point have I or will I endorse unlawful behavior. I am mearly stating belittling is not a professional approach to correct poor behavior. Nobody should feel the need to cover for or make excuses for bad work ethics or anything else the Police officer's may do. I know in my job if I do something wrong I am asked to justify my behavior to my supervisors. I have never heard of any other profession other than being a Police officer that a entity like the community can decide what should have been a better choice for an employee to have done in a specific situation. I am sure most people that participate in the continual bashing that goes on in these comment forums could never muster up the courage to put their life in harms way at a moments notice to protect others, yet they want to pretend they could hypathetically do a better job of it in a cowardly faceless setting like this. While some people beg for a "citizen's review board", I feel this will only divide the community from the officers further. We as normal citizens have no idea of the stress and split second decisions required to the job they do, so how can we with a lack of experience rationalize what should have been done as a monday morning quarterback does? How would anyone reading this like someone with no experience in what you do for a living decide how you could have better done a task and your fate because of the outcome? I know I have a hard enough time with people who used to do my job remembering what it was like.


AMEN!!! anti-liberal!  You said it best :0)


Bryan, I think you're going to have to change the name of this column to "The Onion" or something...just so people, you know, get it? Bad Cop Bingo. ::: snort! :::

Captain Gutz

If I win can I pick a unicycle instead of a bicycle? I only have one leg.





 I really wish that you could get credit if one of your cops smacks a pregnant woman in the head with a maglight or pepper sprays a few hundred people indiscriminately. I hope this style of management catches on and the rest of the government offices have their own BINGO cards, with all the theft in office and stealing diesel it could be a lot of fun.


This is a downright horrible idea. Whatever happened to management principle of praise in public and discipline in private? Is Chief Lang's picture on the cards? Or how about his command staff that let thisbehavior go on and develop over the years? This kind of behavior doesn't just happen over night. The Chief should be fired for even suggesting such as idea. What the Chief said through this idea was, I have no control over my subordinates, and I have no idea how to motivate them. I am unqualified as a leader because I or my staff enabled this behavior for years.

6079 Smith W


 Mr. Dubois regurgitates: 

"Chief Jim Lang said. 'They're supposed to be standard-bearers.'"

So why shouldn't citizens next expect healthy eating, exercise and an acceptable BMI to be the new "standards" for the SPD?

There's a goal: The fittest cops on the beat in the country!

Think about it: The guys getting pulled over by a svelte female cop and the gals confronting a buffed male one? 



SPD has its problems, what organization doesn't but this is the worst case of management style in history.  What he is saying is I can't handle the problems so lets make it a joke, he is clueless. I f Lang can't handle this department in a professional manner he should resign.  He is clearly not capable of managing a department of this size.  I doubt if Nuesse would have used this childish tactic.

Return of Dragon

The thing that concerns me is that this might be a short game.  Seriously, about every week a new story breaks about the unprofessional behavior of the local police.  At this rate, the game will be over in a couple days and I don't have time to pick up my card until Thursday

Norma J-C

If one thinks that Sandusky is a laughingstock now, wait till this hits the national news. The SPD will never fix itself by putting out a message that they're just plain stupid and who wants to work for unprofessionals like Lang. This is not going to encourage any new people to apply for work in this city if and when there are jobs to be found!


I"m calling "BINGO" on "Chief" Lang!!!! What planet does this guy live on where he thinks this is a good idea???!!! Calling his officers "clowns"?.....great leadership skills.... Clown Lang!!!


Even though Bryan put SARCASM, SATIRE  at the heading of his joke blog, some people still don't get it. Even if Bryan put out alerts THE REGURGITATOR IS A SARCASM, SATIRE BLOG. IT'S A JOKE. PURE FANTASY TO POKE FUN AT PEOPLE AND EVENTS. THIS BLOG IS FOR HUMOR ONLY. IT IS NOT FACTUAL.  People would still believe that Bryan is posting facts on the Regurgitator blog. Please note who these people are by their screen names below.  These people probably read Mad Magazine and think that Mad Magazine or the Onion is a news source.


Regardless if this is sarcasim, or satire Bryan, obviously most of the bloggers take it as the truth. Therfore, this (and most of your articles) borderline on defamation, and slander. You must be immune from the moderators. I have seen things removed for personal atttacks that don't come near the crap you write. Have a happy holiday season. Do so knowing that SPD will be protecting you and yours.


If I win the Bingo game, I don't want any new or used bicycle normally auctioned off in the spring-time. I want something else. How about a confiscated gun? That would be nice for me. Or a GET OUT OF JAIL card like in the Monopoly game would be another option. That way if I am arrested, I present my GET OUT OF JAIL card and the nice cop lets me go without an arrest record.


thinkagain's picture

 Salvatore alerts commenter’s to DuBois bingo scam.  Dang it, I was having a good chuckle!  LOL!

Return of Dragon

Maybe the prizes should things that would appeal to more Sandusky residents.  The bikes appeal to many because they don't have drivers licenses, but for those that have licenses maybe the prize can be other things laying around the station like 50 grams of meth or assault rifles.


This guy is an idiot!!  Typical SR employee!

Erie Countian

Obviously some of you goobers don't recognize SATIRE when you read it.


 It is TRULY AMAZING to me how GULLIBLE the people of Sandusky are!  "SHEEP" comes to mind.... I don't know whether to LAUGH or CRY!

PEOPLE! EVERYTHING in PRINT is NOT GOSPLE!  THIS is what is WRONG with this country! People just blindly go along, reading a few headlines or sentences, and FAILING to COMPREHEND or RESEARCH what they read! 

This is SOOO SAD... I can only shake my head and "sigh."  : (


I have to admit I did miss  the sarcasm/satire, Why would a reporter attribute a direct quote to someone and call it satire?  Making up facts to create an article, they usually call it reporting or an editorial.


The right wing wacko's amazes me, no wonder they beleive everything faux news says!!!

LMAO at anti-liberal and the rest of the palinites !!!

Julie R.

Oh, come on already. The "sheep" on here knew it was satire----the majority, anyway. (especially Sam) Why they pretended not to is anybody's guess. Why Dubois has suddenly reverted back to the Sandusky Regurgitator is anybody's guess, also.  

C'mon people

Mr. Dubois...I enjoy your "stories" and all that you write.  Whether I agree or disagree I find intelligent debate in your posts.  Yes, you do often instigate but it is entertaining.  I read the posts often and have finally been prompted to "sign up".  When I had read the earlier posts, my jaw dropped...truly...I am dumbfounded.  People...please?!?!?!?!?!?  Do you not recognize satire?????



Julie R.

I didn't see Sam's last comment until after I posted mine.  He answered the question as to why they pretended not to know it wasn't satire.  In other words, us SHEEP should not believe anything the SR prints about public officials.

Try a new tactic, boys. This one didn't work.

Return of Dragon

What?  No effing bingo?  I just went out and got my good luck charms!!


C'mon people,

No. No, they don't recognize satire. Apparently, they don't read, either since the article is actually labeled "sarcasm, satire." On the other hand, since all of the indignant responses are pretty entertaining in and of themselves, maybe it's more fun this way. :-)

C'mon people're right...more entertaining

brutus smith

 Why do you think Fox wannabe a news network has so many followers? They don't question anything the Fuhrer, I mean Beck,  says.

C'mon people

Brutus...this is funny...I was at 250 and Perkins the other day when an elderly lady drove up beside me and I noticed a "Glenn Beck for President " bumper sticker on her car...what could I do but shake my head!


 When you saw the "Glen Beck for President" sticker where you going home on the van or bus?  I doubt if Beck would take the pay cut and reduced audience.  

C'mon people own car.  I think it was the van that Return mentioned.

Return of Dragon

The best one in town is the mid 1990's van with the Glenn Beck for President Bumper Sticker and the handicapped license plate.

Julie R.

To Sam, who pretended not to know this was satire:

Why did you edit your comment and change the sentence that was specifically directed at the SR?   


Wait is this a serious thought Lang needs to gtfo with that....Thats not gonna do any but make his officers more cantankerous


I guess we know where SPD gets their police officers. THe CIRCUS!!!!


You bet they get thrie cops at the circus and the ring master is Jimmy Lang.  Just remember, it's not a police department it's a joke and you got a joker as police chief now.  Great way to get moral up Jimmy, go back to the park, that's about all you are good for.  Just remember it aint over till the fat lady sings, but Jimmy we can hear her warming up for you, also the bunnys are calling for you.


Looks like Bryan caught another believer of his SATIRE!!!!!!


Tweety Sees Eve...

This actually is one of the best stories that the SandPaper has posted. Maybe we have all been wrong all along.  Maybe the SandPaper is all satire and sarcasm.  We just missed the announcements concerning this issue.

Maybe we are all guilty of believing anything that they printed in the first place!


This satire is hilarious (from "The Onion" on the web) --

In what has increasingly become an era defined by pandemonium, rancor, and blind ignorance, one stabilizing voice emerged from the din this year to soothe the souls of Americans everywhere, make us recognize the common decency that binds us all, and supplant the poisonous aura of fear and chaos with a simple, well-thought-out message of peace, prosperity, and reconciliation.

That man is television and syndicated radio host Glenn Beck. Every single day of 2010, Beck's quiet words of humility and reason have touched the hearts of all Americans, healing countless wounds and elevating the level of our national discourse.

<click here for the whole story>


WOW!  This has got to be a joke right Sandusky Register?  There is NO WAY the FOP UNION and the work force of SPD will stand for this.  I bet Kim Nuesse is laughing because I bet she supports this.  She is probably HELPING Jimmy!  Ha! Ha!  My, my, the tangled web we weave right brothers and sisters of SPD??  I have NEVER heard of trying to enforce work rules or taking the "leadership role" like this.  I do agree that SPD and their "problem children" have been ALLOWED to act this way for a long time.  SPD has morphed into the public serving them instead of the premise of "protect and serve" the people.  Jim Lang is correct and would be derelict of duty to allow this to continue like the others before him.  But, to print "bingo cards" with their pictures in the blocks???  Ha! Ha!  I just cannot fathom this.  This has to be a JOKE!  There IS a place for public embarrassment.  Come ON!  The SR does it ALL the time.  How many blown up mugshots have you seen in the paper of losers or liberal politicians?  It is about public shame in hopes others do not follow.  The fear of your family or mother seeing such failure is despicable to many, but NOT everyone.  A few of you freeloader liberals think it is a "badge" of honor.  UNION employees think they are ENTITLED so they are taught not to comply because the UNION will get them out of it.  This crybaby mentality has been going at SPD for decades.  And they ALL know it.  I present to you the liberal UNION agenda.  I have heard and seen other types of radical leadership styles, but this is definitely HILARIOUS.  I still do not believe it.  Hey Jimmy Lang, if you can pull this off, good for you.  After all, you are the "interim" chief so you can do what you want.  SPD and the FOP have played ALL their cards out in trying to CONTROL who they want as chief.  They do NOT want anyone to tell them what to do.  They want a "business as usual" chief.  Hey Jimmy, I would like two cards of each.  They will become COLLECTORS ITEMS!  Ha! Ha!  I hope you get the results you seek.  This is very radical, even for you.     

Julie R.

Hey Dubois, I heard you're famous! I heard they talked about you at yesterday's city commissioner meeting. (how professional) I heard that some clown asked Chief Lang if your satire was the truth. (how juvenile) I then heard Julie F. whined about some satire you wrote about her once. ( even more juvenile) I then heard that Iscman said the Sandusky Regurgitator has been around for four years.( I didn't know that ) Nevertheless, if it's been around for four years how come some of these clowns like Sam (alias John Doe) are suddenly pretending not to know it's satire?



For the one who has "heard" much but listens and comprehends very little, satire"the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly," etc., you make it so easy...   You do supply humor to many, thanks for the laughs....

Julie R.

Obviously Sam you're the one that doesn't comprehend. The Sandusky Regurgitator, according to Don Iscman, has been around for 4 years but all of a sudden you and your buddies didn't know it was satire? I believe that's called feigning ignorance, which is something your 1920 county is known for.

  *Feigning ignorance applies to idiots that aren't just ignorant they KNOW they're ignorant.


Vocabuary word of the day for the one that entertains us with out being restricted by logic; Ignorance-"lacking in knowledge or training;  the unlearned. 


The Sandusky Register is NOT shy about their opinion of the Sandusky Police Department.  I wonder if anyone should yank them for being so inappropriate and biased?  Oops, I forgot.  The liberal agenda is, "OK for us, but NOT for YOU!  You WILL OBEY!!"  Sound familiar?  So WHY would a totally liberal newspaper (WHO did YOU endorse for president to "prove" to YOURSELVES to feel good??) go against the liberal FOP UNION members??  Can anyone figure out WHY a newpaper is so HATEFUL to SPD?  Bingo cards with pics of individual "problem" officers?  Ha! Ha!  Is this truly news or is there something more to this?  This "history" of reporting reminds me of the liberal democracks in congress calling each other names and CURSING the president of the United States.  "OK for them to be RACIST, but NOT for anyone else?"  TYPICAL.  Ha! Ha!   

Julie R.

Personally, I didn't think this satire was even funny. On the other hand, to give credit where credit's due, I thought the satire coverage of the million dollar plus Nuesse fiasco was hilarious. I also would be curious to know who the somebody was that thought the satire about Julie F. was the truth. Considering how good some of these public officials in the 1920 Eeerie County legal system are at feigning ignorance, I wouldn't doubt it was one of them.


Moderators have removed this comment because it contained personal attacks. Discussion Guidelines


 I have to chime in again. Any person who has ever employed satire or enjoyed a good prank certainly can appreciate this piece. Of course the great literary critic Julie deserted her delusional victim act to state she did not find it funny, and maybe it wasn't funny, it wasn't supposed to be. What is outright hilarious is the fact that the piece was carefully written to the point of being plausible, to the extent that a citizen asked about it at the city commission meeting. That my friends is art. The point of the piece was to mock the community relations aspect of giving kids baseball cards (maybe at a sub station before having a "moment of weakness") while having officers pepper spraying scores of innocent people and shouting profanity at the GoodTimes dock.  The SPD is a joke. Lawless idiots protecting us. Then that people could imagine that Bad Cop Bingo is possible...delicious. Expect to see more issues brought to light through satire and hyperbole. There are quite a few of our public servants that need themselves examined and you better believe the Regurgitator is up to the challenge. Satire, when believable, makes us realize what a fine line between absurdity and incompetence will live on. So Julie R you can run your mouth all you want, show us your literary credentials first. The fact that a guy asked about Bad Cop Bingo on the public record has already validated the piece. 

Return of Dragon

Part of the reason for all of the confusion about this story is because in Sandusky.......... sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.  Just in the past year we had a $100,000 check go missing for months, the only current welfare receipient in the US elected to local government, a police chief fired and then elected to city commission among other things.  It is no wonder people become confused!

Julie R.

You can say that again! In Erie County the truth really IS stranger than fiction. Had I not seen it for myself,  I never would have believed it. If you're ever unfortunate enough to have to deal with these more than nuts Erie County courts-----especially that Probate Court----you'll end up thinking that you're smack dab in the middle of the twilight zone!  No wonder they call it Eeeerie County! 


She who consider herself a victim should consider the definition (noun) of a victim-"a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance," seem to fit our resident "victim"


Bryan, this is  the best Troll on the site EVER!

To actually get someone to stand up at a Council meeting and ask about these cards = JOB WELL DONE!!!!!

I congratulate you sir! You have my admiration!

(oh and Sam, her tin-foil hat is just too tight. Cuts off the circulation)

Julie R.

My comments sure do seem to get you going, Sam.

*QuitClaims Deed #20020236

This Instrument Prepared By:

Baumgartner & O'Toole 

This document and others are a matter of public record in the Recorder's office but for some odd reason they are not viewable on the Recorder's website. Oh my! You don't suppose the documents are FRAUD, do ya? 


Our professional victim has mentioned me 6 times in this blog. I have yet to use her name once, but if the tinfoil hat fits, wear it.  "My constituency is the desperate, the damned, the DISINHERITED, the disrespected and the despised.


Like I said before Sam, we were watching Signs and the scene came up with them sitting on the couch wearing their tinfoil hats. I laughed. My friend goes "why is that so funny?" I told her it reminds me of a commentor on the Register website

Julie R.

Geez, are you wackos STILL on here? Mr. Dubois has a new blog----haven't you seen it?

Julie R.

In the words of the Cuyahoga County crook Jimmy Dimora:




"You unlock this door of the ding bat's imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of courts, a dimension of lawyers, a dimension of quit claim deeds. You're moving into a land of both banks and tin foil hats, of whack jobs and crazy comments. You've just crossed over into the Comment Zone."



tinfoil hat, vocabulary of the day, delusional- a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or objects outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary; also : the abnormal state marked by such beliefs


 Wouldn't this story be funnier if the department were issuing trading cards rather than bingo cards? Some departments actually do that, but then it would seem as if Dubious was just "regurgitating" another author's story. To make it seem "original" change a key detail that does not change the meaning. Seems to be a theme in "Blache" Dubois's work.

Said Brian Dubois in a recent interview with Pundit, "I can't really think of ideas on my own for posts, so I use google to find interesting stories and then change a few details. Sometimes I watch Glen Beck an then write the same story three days later."


    I think someone needs to read the book "Pushing People Up".  You don't get people to effectivley work for you by putting them down!  I think it has been made clear you either follow the rules or your job is on the line.  These problems exist in every public position not just SPD!  This is ridiculous and should be reonsidered.  


Rumor has it a certain supervisor is in trouble for not sending a deputy to the scene of a rape call!  Why isn't that front page news?

Bill E. Mason

Which supervisor? In Sandusky or Perkins? Spill the goods, FedUp!


It seems to me that chief Lang should be the one to get terminated, isn't it his job to oversee the daily functions of the police force??  Where is the leadership at?? Print bingo cards?? LOL, joke