So the month of September is behind all of us and, for me, it was a disappointing one. Unfortunately, I have no one to blame but myself.
I told myself at the beginning of the month that this one would either make me or break me. I was thinking it would set the path for if I would achieve my 100 pounds by the end of the year.
Well,from my weigh-in Oct. 4, it looks like I've had a little setback. I won't go into details because you can all read about it in the Register on Oct. 12.
It's just very heartbreaking to see how far I've come, but yet how little I have lost some of the months. I feel disappointed in myself thinking I could of done better. Trying to stay focused for the entire year is definitely difficult.
I for one still can't figure out how to NOT be an emotional eater. That's what the whole month of September was for me, nothing but stress. So when I'm stressed and upset, I eat.
Stupid me should of eaten the good stuff, but what makes you feel better at a moment of distress is eating a bunch of crap. Only to regret it later on, but do it a few days after that.
With only three months to go, I'm really hoping to finish strong. It's hard telling, though.
Last week, I had quite a severe MS attack. It was so bad one night that my husband had to leave the bed because I was shaking so badly because of tremors and muscle spasms in my right leg.
For the next few days, I had numbness in that right leg from my knee through my thigh. Not a good feeling. It's kind of like when your foot falls asleep, only with my leg that feeling didn't go away for days.
So needless to say, I canceled my workout sessions with my trainer, Kevin Gallagher of Anytime Fitness. He was very concerned and very supportive about the situation, though, and actually tried to do a little research for me to see what could help since I had never had such a back attack.
For me, I think it's mostly stress-related. Things in my life really have been rough and when I sat down and thought about what was making this happen, I tried to calm myself down and slowly but surely the symptoms went away.
This whole experience is definitely not only a weight-loss challenge but a learning experience. I really hope to make myself and the people who support me proud by reaching my goal. If not by the end of the year, hopefully, sometime next year. Because for me this challenge doesn't end Dec. 31, 2010 ... for me, that's when it really begins.