BLOG: Clark's peers worry about her getting too skinny

Ellyn Clark
Aug 31, 2010

 

I think yesterday was the first time I actually received so many compliments on my weight loss. I mean I've had people come up to me and tell me I'm looking good, great or awesome, but it was rather sporadic. I really don't agree with them, yet. 

On Aug. 29, at our church's annual picnic, I had at least five people tell me how great I looked. I was like, really?? Well, thank you, but I really want to lose another 20 to 30 pounds. When I said this they were like, "but you look so good right now, losing another 20 to 30? You're going to look too skinny!" 

As I look in the mirror, I do see a big difference in my weight, especially in my face, and I have gotten rid of all my "big girl" clothes. 

But, apparently, I don't see as big a difference as other people do. Like T.J. said, my personal trainer from the Northern Ohio Medical Fitness Center, we are always more critical of ourselves than others when it comes to our physical appearance.

Right now, I am in a size 14 jeans. These are getting too be a bit baggie and yet I still can't quite fit into a size 12. 

It's frustrating; I want to be at the finish line, like, right now! 

I know I will eventually get there. I've never been one to have much patience, just ask my close friends and family members.   

As others perceive me, they think I've lost all the weight I need to lose. I disagree. I want to be at 130 pounds. But even the doctor thinks that at 130 pounds, I'll look too thin! He thinks I should shoot for 140. I have taken that suggestion under advisement. But we shall see at the FINAL weigh-in at the end of December.

Visually speaking, I wonder how I carry my weight. When I started this competition, I weighed 210 pounds and I perceived myself to be FAT!! 

But others said they would never have believed I weighed that much by looking at me. Were they being honest in their perceptions or were they just being nice?? Sometimes I prefer brutally honest versus nice. 

Now, I'm being told I look great and being asked why I want to lose anymore? I do appreciate all the compliments and encouragement, but I answer that question with, "Well for one thing, this is a competition and my personal goal has not yet been reached.I really want to fit back into my size 8s that I have been holding onto for the past 12 years, hoping that someday I'd fit back into them. Woo Hoo, I'm getting closer to someday!!"

I jokingly told my husband Scott, hey, "When someone asks you, how's the little woman? I actually will finally be the "little woman." I am only 5 foot, 2 inches tall.