Frighteningly Mediocre Movies

Jason Singer
Mar 23, 2010

 

For several hundreds years, Friday the 13th has been regarded as a day of bad luck.

This Friday, that superstition holds true, at least for movie-goers. All three films released today are scarily mediocre.

Friday the 13th: The 11th installment of the popular franchise follows a familiar formula for below-average horror movies: Beautiful, beer-guzzling, michevious teenagers get murdered in gruesome ways, usually while the women stay scantily clothed. There’s lot of screaming, breasts, blood and bad dialogue. If that’s you’re idea of fun, this movie’s for you.

The International: What happened to director Tom Twyker? Ten years ago, Twyker made one of the greatest action movies of all-time, Run Lola Run. Now comes The International, a timely but ultimately forgettable film about killer banks. Luckily, it does have some unintentionally hilarious dialogue like, “...Even if I die, 100 other bankers will take my place.”

Confessions of a Shopaholic: Isla Fisher is sooooo hot. But could there be a more ill-timed movie? Most people can’t afford lunch, let alone tens of thousands of dollars in overpriced, designer clothes. And we certainly don’t care about the “problems” of those who can afford those clothes and value those things. Here’s some financial advice: Save your $8; don’t go see this movie.