Gleis steers clear of gym because of self-consciousness

Kristin Gleis
Mar 23, 2010

I would like to start by clearing up a few issues that I dealt with last week after the November issue of FIT Magazine was published. 

First, I did not quit going to the gym because I’m lazy or I’m giving up. I stopped going to the gym for a few reasons: issues with children and being short on money to pay the sitter, but the major reason is my own insecurities with the way I look. 
 

Every time I go to the gym to exercise, no matter where I am, be it the YMCA or Anytime Fitness, I feel out of place and uncomfortable. 
 

About a month ago, I was exercising and I happened to see a very attractive, fit, young girl exercising, too. She was using the chin-up/ pull-up bar, while talking with two men who appeared to be 10-15 years older than her. The men were admiring the girl, just like me. 
 

Then it hit me: Would these two men be chatting it up with an overweight woman who is trying to lose weight to feel more attractive and become healthier? I honestly do not think so. That’s when I started to feel uncomfortable again. When I am exercising in the comfort of my own house or I’m outside walking, I’m not thinking about who is looking at me or what someone is thinking. 
 

I am still working on losing weight, though. This past week, I lost 7 pounds. I now weigh 223, which is a loss of 31 pounds so far. I know that I only have about a month and a half left in this challenge, but I have years left in the long run. I know that I did not meet the competitive needs of the challenge, but I am happy that I have lost the weight I have.

 

 

Comments

Karl Hungus-Mr....

After all your posts it seems like the first thing you need to work on is your maturity.  If seeing two older men fawning over a smaller girl makes you feel the way it does....well, maybe you need to get your priorities straight.

You may think that you did not give up, but those that read your blogs are smart enough to see the truth.  Sadly, there are many others that applied to have this oppurtunity that were passed over that would have tried and not had excuses every month.  I know a couple first hand.

KGleis's picture
KGleis

Karl-Hungus ....

 Are you losing sleep over me not losing weight? Are you tossing and turning in your nice warm bed at night just so upset and disapointed that I have only lost 32 LBS? While Ken has lost 60 plus? I don't think you are. Honestly I doubt you care at all. When I recieve negative comments like yours, I always think .... Does it make you feel better to judge me and put me down?

You must not be overweight, because if you were or if you have ever struggled with your weight than you would understand where I am comming from , or you are a typical man who would not strike up a conversation with an overweight female in the gym.  My priorites are straight, I could care less that those two men were fawning over her .... that was not that point since I myself was fawning over her. My POINT WAS ....... WHEN YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT AND YOU SEE AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON, BE IT MALE OR FEAMLE YOU BECOME A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE.

You said you know a couple of people first hand that applied for the opprotunity? How much weight did they lose this year? You are so quick to pass judgement on my failures and shortcomings but look past the fact that I indeed lose weight also. I might not have lost 100 lbs but I have lost 32 so far and I am pretty damn happy with that. I'm not here to make you happy or anyone else. I'M HERE TO MAKE MY SELF HAPPY!!! The people in my life that matter are proud of me and that is more than I could ask for.

So tonight while you are lying in your bed losing another's nigt sleep over my not so rapid weight loss, please know that I'm getting a full 8hrs of sleep cuddled up with the only man who's comments matter to me.

With that said, If you don't want to hear my excuses or if you think that losing 32 lbs is nothing ... Please don't return to read my blogs ... You only have about 1 1/2 in deal with me.

Karl Hungus-Mr....

You must care if you responded.  My wife and I both started out this year overweight.  So far she has lost an incredible amount of weight without personal trainers or other handouts, and I am down 25 pound in the last 2 months alone.  So watch out before you start judging.  Oh and I have a full time job and 3 kids (6 and under)

You only become uncomfortable with yourself around another attractive person if you do not like who you are.  It does not matter how much you weigh, it all depends on what is in your head.  That is why I seriously think you need more than a personal trainer for your body, you need one for your head as well.

My post was not meant to be negative, if you look back I said positive things in the past,  It was meant to be honest.

You have the rest of your life to turn yourself around, but that time is getting shorter. 

 

 

KGleis's picture
KGleis

I would like to apolgize to you for my defensive comeback. I agree without completely when you said " If you are unhappy with yourself it doesn't matter how much you weigh" I have said that same thing since day 1. I know better than anyone else that my personal demons will still be here with me with if I am 250 lbs or if I'm 180 lbs which is my weight goal. For the record .... 180 LBS is only 38lbs away for me,  while I know that I will not lose 38lbs by Jan 1, 2010   I know I will lose the weight in 2010.

I put myself out here for all of Sandusky to critize and judge, that was a huge step for me. Its still a big step every month when I have to see that picture of myself in the Register. I know that I did not meet 90% of the readers expectations, hell I didn't reach my own goals. I am the only person that has to deal with that, at the end of the day I can only be upset with myself that I did not reach the goal that I set for myself. Just because I did not reach that goal in 2009, does not mean however that I am not going to reach my goal in 2010.

I'm still a person with feelings, so before you all start throwing stones at me, please think about how you would feel if you had to hear how people think you are a dissapointment, lazy, full of excuses, and all the bs that has been thrown my way.

If you look back, Ken has never gotten 1 negative comment, since I did not do as well as him, I did. I got all the negative comments and than some. What if I was the one who would have lost 80 lbs not 30, would Ken be getting all the negitivity? So again, please remember that I'm a person also and I make mistakes before you cut me down.

sillysara88

Hey girl! It's Sara from Wal-Mart.  I think you've done terrific!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I didn't know you were doing this column until a few months ago and I'm now addicted to the ups and downs in your life.  You've definitely inspired me a few times to get up off the couch and get moving!  Since last Thanksgiving I've lost 55 pounds and I know how hard it is to get over all of your issues and life's problems to get yourself on track.  It's not about how much you've lost or how much you want to lose.  It's about how you feel about yourself.  It sounds like you feel better about yourself now than at the beginning of your weight loss journey.  And I'm sure it will continue.  Be proud of your success so far. 

Is the Anytime Fitness a nice gym?  I've lost my weight doing walking dvds at home and just like you I'm insecure being around skinnier people.  Plus it's pricy!  I'm trying to gain self confidence but  I have no idea how!  Life gets in the way of your success sometimes.  I'm always feeling like I don't have enough time to get everything done that I want to do.  My mom has been off work since June due to a medical issue so I'm trying to help her. My nephew is always at my house and it's hard to exercise around him.  I'm never able to get enough sleep and work is always in the way.  Jen and I are on again and then off again.  It's a day by day process with my relationship.  One way I found to make myself have time for me is to set small weekly goals.  Do a 30 minute dvd three times a week.  Eat fairly good for 4 days and on the 5th I treat myself to a craving.  Have a movie night with the kids.  Every two weeks pick up a shirt, pair of pants that's fairly inexpensive.  Treat yourself to a pedicure. 

I've been doing diets since middle school but I think the reason I'm sticking to this is because it's not a diet and I'm doing it for the right reason this time.  It's a lifestyle change that just with life will ebb and flow.  There will be good days and bad days but you have to find the right reason to do it and then you will stick with it.  I've been in therapy since last November as well and while I started going for the wrong reason it lead to the right reason.  I'm now at a point in my life where I'm realizing I need goals and something to work towards.  I'm paying off credit card debt (slowly but surely!), planning on doing a medical assistant program in the fall, and working on losing weight.  I've set small goals to make sure I don't get too far over my head.  I want to pay one small credit card by February and I was wanting to be 170 by Dec 31.  I've been stuck at 182 for two months so I think the 170 is a far leap.  Even if I don't make that goal I'm still going to celebrate.  Being 182 feels a helluva lot better than 236.5!!!  I'm excited and I'm feel that losing weight has opened up all sorts of doors for me.

I've seen the progress you've made and you're doing wonderful!  I'm still working 3rds so if you ever have a bored moment at 7am and want to walk at the mall with the seniors (and watch them pass me by!!) give me a call!  Or if you are having a weak moment and you're thinking about that fourth or fifth brownie call or email me.  stationary_freak@nycmail.com I'm excited to see all of your hard work and I know you will keep it up!

Sara

Karl Hungus-Mr....

I have no answer as to why Ken got no negative comments.  To be honest his posts were kind of dry and dull so I did not pay attention to most of them.   Nothing against him, not every one is a writer.

I do commend you both for putting it all out there for the world to see.  Weight loss is not an easy thing.  It is like quitting smoking, you will never do it until you really want to.

 

 

Captain Gutz

Kristin

 

You should feel lucky that you have Hungus to give you free advice. He's got to have a PhD in psychoanalysis; he is just so full of erudition.

If you had contacted him when you began, I'm certain he would have shown you a better way, nay the ONLY way to lose all your weight, bringing you to a world record goal of zero pounds.