Missing teen found hiding in attic, sent to juvey

NORTH FAIRFIELD Abbi Obermiller is no longer a runaway. Obermiller, 17, was last seen at her grandparents' home June 6. Sometime that night, she left this note: "I just couldn't take any more of this drama,' the note read. "It's not good for me. Lol. Hope to see you soon when this all blows over. Love, Abbi.'
Annie Zelm
Jun 30, 2010

 

NORTH FAIRFIELD

Abbi Obermiller is no longer a runaway.

Obermiller, 17, was last seen at her grandparents' home June 6. Sometime that night, she left this note: “I just couldn’t take any more of this drama,” the note read. “It’s not good for me. Lol. Hope to see you soon when this all blows over. Love, Abbi.”

After an anonymous tip came in, police found Abbi hiding in the attic of an upstairs apartment unit that her boyfriend, 20-year-old Robert "Bobby" Young rented three weeks ago, police said.

She was transported to the Norwalk Police Department and interviewed. She provided information, including the names of who assisted her in running away and hiding from authorities, stated a police department news release.

She met with her parents and grandparents for a short time Wednesday before being taken to the Sandusky County Juvenile Detention facility. She had a detention hearing today in Huron County Juvenile Court for charges of obstruction of official business and being an unruly child. A judge ordered her to stay at the Erie County juvenile detention facility until her next hearing in a week or two.

Abbi disappeared just after finishing up the school year with straight-As. She dreams of becoming an oncologist.

Read all about her case and her return home in Thursday's Register.

Comments

judgejudy

 Heard on the Cleveland news that she had planned on staying in the apartment until she turned 18 in November.  What a waste of taxpayers money.

Kramer

Oncologist, huh?  Yeah, she seems like a great candidate to make it through medical school.  She's got the great decision making skills that surgeons need.

Pete

Ima sure there is quite a bit of drama and stress dealing with cancer patients. Know there was out of us when my mom had cancer.

Maybe a change in career ideas is in order?

Bailey

I just couldn’t take any more of this drama,” the note read. “It’s not good for me. Lol. Hope to see you soon when this all blows over. Love, Abbi.”

 

Did anyone read this note?
What do you see in it?
I see a young lady who has real questions along with parents that don’t have a clue about HER or her emotions and ‘love’ for this guy.  

 

She would rather be in an attic instead of being with her parents? Could it be that the straight A’s are a result of parents teaching about making money, or becoming something instead of BEING someone special, like a kind & loving child that they love UNCONDITIONALLY? If they didn’t like this young man and everything is about performance, could it be that she felt that her boyfriend displayed everything that her parents weren’t, like accepting her for BEING her?

I had friends whose parents demanded things because ‘they loved’ them, demanding perfect grades, attendance, manors and other things without instilling in them the desire to be those things. What are the reasons to demand or expect these things from children, because it makes you somebody?  They were told that if they WANTED to be SOMEONE they needed to buckle down and do this and that. GUESS WHAT, SHE IS SOMEONE even if she wasn’t a straight A student ! What about a RELATIONSHIP that exists on love and affection without fulfilling structural demands.  If this post seems strange to you then you better make certain your kids don’t end up desiring to live in an attic or drug dump to get away from you and to seek the affection of a stranger. There are many pimps who thrive on children who come from demanding parents, especially WEALTHY families who qualifies peoples worth by their bank account or degree. Those who teach their children that their worth is dependent upon personal hard work instead of WHO they are as an individual usually lose their children one way or another.

 

NOTE: I’m not saying the parents are wrong or bad, but I am saying the court should realize that this child acted according to the environment and what else could she do if she couldn’t take any more of the DRAMA? I can only imagine what that was about, maybe a boyfriend? I know personally that daughters whose fathers are close to them don’t normally run away from home and when they have emotional love issues they can TALK to their dad and dad can advise and allow the child to understand their parents views instead of listening to trash talk.

 

BTW, I think she would be a GREAT doctor, sounds like she refuses to accept things that go against the feelings of others unless there is a good reason. I personally think the parents need to be in court to find out WHY she thought the ONLY way to solve a problem was to run away.  

 

Kramer

Bailey, I think you might be reading a LITTLE much into such a simple note.

As one who has raised teenagers, EVERYTHING is drama with them.

Listening to 17 year old girls cry, "but I LOVE him!!" about their first boyfriend (who is 20 by the way? Creepy) and actually taking that seriously is the height of stupid parenting.  Last I checked, parents were still in charge when CHILDREN are only 17.  This is not Amish country where at 17 you're already raising a family.

perkinsparent

I agree with quite a bit of what Bailey has to say.  There is obviously something going on with this young lady...whether true drama or what she perceives to be drama.  I am thankful that they found her and that she is ok.  Let's thank those who pursued the leads and found her.  Now it's time to hear her side, get her help if she needs it and give her the support she needs to get on the track to happiness.  She is at a critical age where stress is at an all time high.  I do hope that the authorities, counselors and family take the right course of action, rather than treat her like a criminal and thereby lead her down the wrong path further.

Unassumer

Lot of assumptions here.

oldruss

I think that the Howe Military Academy is coed.  That might help straighten this girl out.  It's a straight shot west on the Ohio Tpk, then Indiana Toll Road.  Big bilboard near exit, can't miss it.

Sassy

I think she's an immature 17 year old, and selfish, and obviously lacking in many ways.  Drama?  She's 17, she probably created the drama.  Hope they teach her a lesson, and she learns it.

Bailey

I don't think I am reading too much in that note, honestly I don't.

I have three daughters now grown and they all graduated in college, two in medical and one in buisness. When they had conflicts with friends, boy friends, teachers etc they always felt comfortable in coming first to Mom and then to me. We TALKED things over, NEVER insisted on ANYTHING. I remember when my daughter liked this rock group and wanted to spend her money on their CD. We used the time to talk about the group and thier possition on morals and character. Due to our strong bonds she decided not to support that group with their money. Note, SHE decided, not mom or dad, but SHE decided that they were at odd's with her personal beliefs. My daughters have never used drugs, the were chase when they married and have a great relationship with the family. I don't see this in this girls life, I see emptyness, confusion, lack of meaning in life and with herself. Don't be too eager to condemn her, she is the outward actions of whom raised her. If she ever needs a place to stay our home is open for all kids of any race. Father Flanigan who founded Boy's Town stated that there is no such thing as a bad boy. I say there are some bad boys because they were made into that due to their parents or other influences, just my opinion of course, but I would put my home and life in jeopordy with my belief on this. (I realize there are some honestly rotten kids, but this girl is not one of those.)

SMH-FML

At 17 years old, one should know the difference between right and wrong, no matter what is happening in their life. I just find it tragic that so much time, effort, and resources were spent on finding this young lady. To think, Nancy Grace even nationally covered the story, and all for a girl hiding in an attic. She gets good grades and obviously knows what she did was wrong and I feel she should be punished in some form along with all who helped her.

buckeyemomma

Bailey,

Just wondering if you actually know the family. Because I do, and I can tell you, her parents are wonderful and very loving -- as are her brothers and sisters. You shouldn't go around making hurtful assumptions about the way she was raised if you have no idea what you are talking about.

Kramer

Bailey you said, "she is the outward actions of whom raised her"

If we were talking about a 3 year old I might agree with you but 17??  Are you serious??  I'd be careful assigning all credit/blame to parents for the actions of their children if I were you.  I certainly don't take the credit for my grown childrens accomplishments and I sure as HECK don't take the blame for their STUPID decisions!  Don't be too sanctimoneous because while you might be the best parent in the world your kid can still act like a jack*ss anytime they want.

This girl runs away to be with her 20 year old boyfriend and you're ready to take her in, shower her with kisses, and condemn her parents.  Dang, where were you when I was a kid??  I could have played you like a violin!!  No offense but that's what's wrong with kids today.  She doesn't need a hug, she needs a foot in her butt (figuratively of course).

SMH-FML

I agree !!! I would have gotten flogged with a wet bamboo stick if i had pulled that when i was 17 ... hell at any age!!

Bluto

Raging hormones , peer pressure, too much time on their hands , and too much reality TV. These are some of the influences on teenagers today . They emulate what they see and hear on YouTube , my space , face book etc. . It becomes the norm to throw tantrums , lie, cheat , deceive . This has become entertainment to us and children don't recognize reality from fiction any more . This was an obvious cry for attention for whatever reasons . A book smart teenager is still a teenager and completely capable of knowing right from wrong , but to kids these days it has become a game to show themselves and to push the envelope and see how much they can get away with . I say love your children but let them know WHO THE BOSS IS .  Every child's different and you can't always raise them perfect but if you can instill common sense then that is a lot.

bobaluey

Moderators have removed this comment because it contained personal attacks. Discussion Guidelines

bobaluey

Moderators have removed this comment because it contained personal attacks. Discussion Guidelines

Observant

Moderators have removed this comment because it contained personal attacks. Discussion Guidelines

betweenlines

It seems that this girl doesn't like rules. That's kids these days - they don't like their parents telling them what to do, so they run off. How can you blame the parents??? It sounds like they were against the relationship with a 20 year old and that was the drama. What a waste of taxpayer dollars. And how do they not find the note for days? Maybe to get sympathy and more interest in a search??? Punish all these crimes!

BabyCakes

I don't care what anyone says the parents ARE to blame in one way or another. I know plently of people who had rules and never ran away from home. 

Observant

MINOR CHILDREN who run away, and care not for what they put their family through, are selfish and need to grow up. Those who violate the laws should be prosecuted, not coddled, and if an individual is even marginally bright, he/she will accept the natural consequences of their chosen actions.  Children who hide and cause drama should be made to understand exactly what they have put everyone through, and made to pay restitution or perform a healthy portion of community service. 

logicalthinker

I am amazed at the comments left here.  She was found alive and well, we should all just be thankful that she isn't hurt, dead, or missing forever.  I am sure her family is thrilled she is safe.  The rest will work itself out, she seems like a smart girl who was over her head.  The police may be upset about the extra work, but I am sure they are happy that this did not end badly and they are not involved in a homicide investigation.  Also, good job to our boys in blue for finding this child safe. Good Luck to you Abbi, this will be life changing, but it to will blowover and I know you will do great things with your life - if you choose to.

 

Common Sense

One view of this story that I have not yet seen published here is the role of the boyfriend.

Being eligible for "antique status", I wonder why no one has mentioned the influence males/females have over one another when they are young and believe they are "in love". In reading the article, there was mention of how the teen had retreated from her friends more and more and that her boyfriend was displeased that she had spent time with her friends on a school trip to New York. In addition, it appears as if the boyfriend was angry when the police first questioned him. Being that he, too, is young this is somewhat uderstandable due to possible anxiety over her disappearance, but also likely due to fear.

The boyfriend rented the apartment for her. Do you think he had any influence in her running away from her family? He "loved" her so much that he kept her in an attic with no running water or air-conditioning. She may have continued to live this way due to the way he may have influenced her. If she were not "in love", do you think she would have agreed to this type of living? Do you think she would have thought that children who have been kidnapped have often begun their captivity  in the same manner?

She is a young girl who needs some help. However, this appears to be her first offense (in the name of love) and we shouldn't pistol whip her.

Onlooker

What now? Abbi broke the law, whether she or anyone else agrees with that law.  Hopefully the family will work in counseling to reestablish the house rules for the remainder of her months at home till she turns 18.  Then, assuming Bobby has gotten a job, and that Abbi has been discharged from supervision under the juvenile court, the two of them can legally persue their love and get married.  And live happily ever after, working to put Abbi through Med School. 

Hopefully, the court will put her on probation/supervision and a condition of her probation will be no contact with Bobby (who is an adult and has criminal charges against him--not a good thing for a future husband).  If their LUV is strong, both will obey the law and resume their lives together when Abbi is 18.  If Ohio laws allow it, Abbi can apply to have her juvie records sealed.  If not, there is so much competition for med school, that this will possibly rule her out as a candidate.  Hope someone will point that out to her and she will see what she has put at risk, all for LUV.

A little tough love; a lot of accepting responsibility; some voluntary community service to help repay all the resources that have been expended on her runaway episode.  This young man has the potential to go in a very bad direction.  Let's hope it's not too late for him to turn his life around. 

starryeyes83

She  wasn't  "found"- at all.  She was never lost in the first place.  She must be so proud.

 

She was "found  out".    Because she was  hiding out. 

silvereagle_1

sure, pat her on the back and say "poor little thing" and she'll turn around and bite that hand,  again.

dawnrg16

Oldruss you said send her to Howe. Have you ever check into that place? The prices are outragious and not every family is made out of money. My oldest son wanted to go there and because of the prices we could not send him and now he can't go there because it would kill him.

Bailey this probem you seem to have with it being the parents fault she ran. Did you ever stop to think that the way things are today are way different than it was when you raised your children? Parents of today both have to work just to make it. There is a lot of drama in a girls life from their friends to home. She has siblings who may also be bringing in drama from their friends too. My daughter is always complaining about the drama of the world. There are many ways to deal with this drama. She may have gone to her parents and they did all they could to help her. She may have gone to her friends and they didn't want to listen.She felt safe going to her boyfriend but she should have told her parents and grandparents where she was going. That was a bad on her not the parents. The parents did what they needed to to find her. I am just happy she was found and is safe. It is not up to us what should be done it is up to the courts and her parents what should be done. 

mng

I agree with Bailey.

Give her love , caring and a feeling of security to get through this.