A man and a blow-up doll walked into a bar.
It all went downhill from there.
Devoid of a clever punchline, the drunken prank provoked few, if any, laughs. It also landed the doll's owner with criminal charges this past weekend.
Police arrived at Mr. Ed's Bar and Grille in Put-in-Bay at about 1:40 a.m. July 14 and found a man playing with the naked male blow-up doll, which was outfitted with a 5-to-7 inch blow-up penis, according to a Put-in-Bay police report.
The man's play, however, quickly took a turn for the worse.
"I observed him sticking the penis part in the butt of females had their backs turned away from him," the police report said.
Several women, unamused by the drunken antics, complained to police who were on foot patrol nearby, according to the report. Officers approached the man, who said they could deflate the doll. An officer punctured it with his pocket knife and threw it in a nearby garbage can.
The doll's demise infuriated its owner, Justin Cimino, 22, of Hilliard.
Cimino argued with police for nearly half an hour about the death of the doll. He became rude, aggressive and combative, according to the report, while his eyes were bloodshot and he smelled strongly of alcohol. At one point, a friend had to pick Cimino up and carry him away from police to calm him down and prevent a fight.
"After explaining to him for approximately 20 to 25 minutes on why his friend got his doll taken away and deflated, I advised Cimino to leave the area," the report said. "I felt he would be a threat to himself or others, due to his anger and temper."
Cimino, however, refused to leave the bar. He was cited with disorderly conduct intoxicated and taken to the Put-in-Bay Police Department, then later released.