Huron County Commissioner meetings are always fun, but Tuesday's meeting went a little stale.
Talk of July 4 sparked conversations that cracked the commissioners up.
After digging around in last year's parade supply, Mike Adelman stumbled upon a bucket of remains.
"I found a container of candy from last year," he told the other commissioners, laughing, "It was soft candy, but now it's hard candy."
The commissioners joined in jovial laughter, at some points turning red from the hilarity.
"It'll be petrified candy this year," Gary Bauer chuckled, usually quiet, but at full vocal capacity.
In other parade news, Bauer's float, an Ohio State "O," might end up with an unwanted paint job.
Bauer had trouble finding the perfect gray paint to do the job, but successfully pulled resources and made it happen.
"We'll just have to come in and paint it green," Adelman said, ribbing Bauer's dedication to his gray "O".
MC can't hide loyalty to Steelers
Jack Haplea, executive director of Erie County United Way, is not a Steelers fan.
If you heard otherwise, please disregard.
William Lally, superintendent of the Erie-Huron-Ottawa Educational Service Center, served as the master of ceremonies for the Erie County Chamber of Commerce's annual awards dinner.
Lally told the crowd he'd been told not to discuss his favorite football team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, then proceeded to violate the injunction.
He complained that it was too hot inside the room -- then wiped his brow with a Steelers towel.
Lally slipped in another barb when Haplea received the chamber's Community Service award. One year after meeting United Way's fund-raising goal, Lally claimed, Haplea celebrated by donning a Steelers helmet and exclaiming, "This is how it feels!"
A true story? No.
Haplea said Lally told the story because he knows how Haplea really feels about the Steelers, "how much I hate them."
-- Tom Jackson
All over the map
Overheard in the checkout line of one of the superstores:
First person: "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. Where've you been?"
Second person: "Indianapolis."
First person (who apparently knows her way around the town): "Oh, really? Where at in ..."
Second person: "Indiana ..."
-- Don Lee
A medical milkshake
A man was walking slowly back to his car after purchasing a large milkshake at Golly Gee Ice Cream & More on Wednesday.
Dan Kaman, the shop's owner, asked the customer how he was doing.
"I've got three broken ribs, but it's not going to stop me from getting my milkshake," he said.
To that, Kaman replied, "The milkshake should make it feel better."
-- Janet Nguyen
Back off, brazen boy
While sitting in on a summer school class at Sandusky High School, I periodically interviewed students in the hall about their thoughts on summer school.
While most people, especially students, get nervous when interviewed by a reporter, one student thought it would be better to put me on the spot.
While asking him questions, he would stand so close to me that I couldn't even lift my arm to write in my notebook. Every step I took back, he took a step forward.
Finally I asked him what his problem was. He said I shouldn't be uncomfortable because "we are both adults."
Let me clarify: I am an adult, you are 15. If you cannot drive, vote or drink legally, you are not an adult. Back up.
I couldn't help but go through the Kroger's checkout line one more time on Friday to say good-bye to my favorite clerk Pat.
I even bought her a copy of the Register because I had mentioned her in a column. She started to get teary and told me how I always brightened her day.
She then proceeded to tell me how she defended me and my stories to Sandusky police who thought I wasn't right. She's entitled to her opinion, too, Pat told them. Now, that's truly Kroger Plus.