It's a crying shame American sensibilities won't allow us to think of fast food containers and 40-ouncers tossed from passing cars as yard art.
Because if they did, my yard would be one of the fanciest in town. I live on a corner lot about one good chug-a-lug from a convenience store and a thick milkshake from an ice cream store.
When the ground was covered with snow, I tricked myself into thinking the trash buildup wasn't so bad this year.
Boy, I was wrong about that one.
Maybe we should appeal to the fast-food giants to strive for more attractive packaging. Consider Slurpee cups shaped like decorative faux rocks or beer bottles shaped like flowers. It would make springtime a lot easier on whoever is the designated picker-upper in each household.
Well, that isn't likely to happen, so I guess I'll just have to join everyone else in the bend-and-reach workout.
Remember a few years ago when some clever manufacturers thought to make orange leaf bags with jack-o-lanterns printed on the side? Now there was an idea worth keeping. Kids were raking leaves just to fill the orange bags, sometimes even clearing their neighbors' yards.
There was a certain neighborhood prestige in having the largest jack-o-lantern pyramid -- kind of like having the biggest snowman on the block.
Speaking of leaves, those of you living in Sandusky might want to think about signing up for the city's weekly brush and yard waste pickup.
I had it for the last couple of years and it really takes the pressure off. Instead of knocking yourself out for the semi-annual pickup, you can plug away at it at your leisure. Every week the branches and leaves are whisked away like magic. It sure beats any other method of yard waste disposal I ever had. They don't take trash -- just plant matter. For information, call Horticultural Services at 419-627-5879.
When spring cleaning your house or garage, don't forget about recycling. In Sandusky, three drop-off sites are in operation, one at Elm and Monroe streets, one at 1024 Cement Ave. and one at 2227 First St. at Kiwanis Park. Erie County residents outside the city can call the Erie County Solid Waste District for information.
Recycling in its purest form is person-to-person. I often set something out by the curb and stick a "free" sign on it. It's always gone by morning.
Do I think picking up curbside offerings is tacky?
There's truth in the adage "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I had two matching love seats with a distinctive custom upholstery. I loved them but time had taken its toll on the pale yellow fabric. I was due for a change anyway, so I rather reluctantly carted them out to the curb.
Two months later I saw them at a yard sale all cleaned up and looking better than I ever thought possible. I almost bought them back. The seller only wanted $50 for the pair. That's less than it would have cost to have them cleaned.
If you have something good that no longer fits your lifestyle, pass it on. Let someone else enjoy it and reduce the waste in our dumps at the same time. And if you see a woman in a PT Cruiser hauling off your discarded bookcase, it's not me. Honest.
See you next week,