OFFBEAT: 'I do' it my way

I still need something old and blue, I think. I'm getting married in August and I am not following many traditions.
Sandusky Register Staff
May 24, 2010

I still need something old and blue, I think.

I'm getting married in August and I am not following many traditions.

I've always thought of myself as the independent, career-type who respects the sanctity of marriage, although I never dreamed of that big day.

I wasn't in any hurry. I was supporting myself, vacationing and canceling dinner dates to stay late at work.

But after nine years with my best friend, my confidante and now fianc (still getting used to saying that), I realized knowing what you want is the greatest independence of all. And I want him.

But I want to do it my way.

I don't want to walk down the aisle as a bunch of relatives I haven't seen in years look on.

I don't want to spend a ton of money on a huge reception when we want to save for the honeymoon.

I especially don't want to send an invitation to someone who opens it and thinks, "Why am I invited to their wedding?"

But for some reason there's one tradition I want to follow.

I need something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui ... just us.

We have never lived in the same city and won't until after we marry.

We want the wedding to be about us and our unity.

Since my mom isn't going to be there -- and she's being incredibly supportive, thank you very much -- she's letting me borrow a thin gold ring shaped to read, "Love."

My dad gave it to her in the 1970s when apparently "love" rings were popular, she said.

I've always loved this ring and my mom has slender fingers like me, so it seems fitting. Plus, my mom and dad have been married nearly 32 years.

So that's the borrow.

The new is my destination wedding dress.

But I'm stuck on the old and blue.

I've been through some scenarios that include borrowing jewelry from my future mother-in-law; a blue lei; or borrowing strappy sandals from my sister.

And then I got real.

It doesn't matter.

I realized this after talking with my co-worker.

She is getting married this week. She hadn't really thought about the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

She has something much better.

Years ago, her late grandmother ran a bridal shop. One day, a bride came in and fell in love with a $3,000 dress. But her mother had died and she couldn't afford the dress.

So her grandma sold the bride the dress for $100.

Fast forward to today. My co-worker meets the bride her grandmother had reached out to years ago. The woman now owns a flower shop in Philadelphia.

So my co-worker decides to buy flowers for her wedding there.

She and her mom get carried away as they plan for the picturesque day.

Then, they come to their senses and ask for some prices.

The long-ago bride answers: $100.

That's not something old, new, borrowed or blue.

It's something beautiful.

That's what the big day is really about.

*

Here comes the bride, there goes the reporter. Brandi Barhite is transferring her reporting duties to colleagues as she serves as city editor until her departure in June.