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I'm 20 and inexperienced with girls

Anonymous • Mar 20, 2013 at 4:00 PM

Q: I am a 20-year-old guy who is in good shape and good looking, however I am still 100% inexperienced with girls. By inexperienced I mean I haven't kissed, taken a girl on a date, intimately touched, had sex, or even seen a girl naked. Lame, I know. The farthest I have ever gone with a girl is a hug. The reason being is that I am shy and nervous when it comes to talking to girls. I have a good personality and a big heart. I am worried that girls will be turned off by a guy who is 20 and has zero experience and will have to "teach" me how to be in a relationship. Every time when I try to talk to a girl for just one minute I blush furiously and stutter and also get butterflies in my stomach. I just feel pathetic compared to all my friends who have so much experience with girls. They have done everything you can think of and I haven't even started yet. The advice they had given me is to go see a prostitute, but I believe that sex is something very special and should only be with the person you love. I'm starting to feel unwanted by girls, but I know I would be an awesome boyfriend. It really hurts me especially at night when I'm trying to fall asleep knowing I have nobody to cuddle with and share my life with. I am really starting to lose hope. I feel very unusual at my age for not having any experience and it’s making me depressed.

A: There is no shame in being inexperienced. Everyone is a virgin at some point in their life! Right now stop concentrating on the intimate details and get out there and simply date a few girls. I believe you’re so concerned that if a girl finds out about your “sexual status” she will instantly be turned off. Well, of course your experience, or lack thereof, isn’t first-date-conversation material. Like you said, you’re a good-looking guy who takes care of himself. If you just act normal, be confident, and allow that schoolboy charm to shine through, there is no reason you shouldn’t be able to land a date with a girl you like that leads to a second, and then a third, and so on. Once you find someone you mutually connect with, the beginning stages, such as the first kiss, become a natural process. And if you’re not sure, it’s certainly O.K. to ask! After you get to know each other a bit and find yourself in an intimate situation, just be honest. If she’s genuine and truly likes you for the person you are, she should be more than willing to school you. As far as your friends and their “advice,” I suppose it’s always an option if you’re a desperate, anti-social simpleton whose only hope of an intimate future lies on the computer in his mother’s basement-apartment. You’re not that guy. Make your experiences everything you want them to be, naturally.

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