Q: I have been getting overly jealous about this girl lately. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and we love each other of course. We are both in our freshman year of college. Last semester this girl was always flirting with my boyfriend and he always said she didn't like him because she has a boyfriend. But I know he just doesn't realize when these things are happening. The class ended and we don't really see her anymore but this girl in my English class is starting to make me nervous. She's much more attractive than me and she started asking my boyfriend questions about the class, which is exactly how it started last semester with that other girl. They ended up laughing together and it just bothered me, maybe because I wasn't a part of it. I'm not sure. We are also going to be having group projects in that class and she will most likely be in ours because she sits next to him. What if they just have a good ole time and I’m stuck working by myself because she’s distracting him. My boyfriend has always been faithful to me, but girls are constantly all over him and it bugs me. One girl even sent him a text talking about them having sex and he said no! Lately he’s been saying "I’m getting tired of hearing about you talking about all these other girls when I didn’t do anything." What do I do?
A: You have got to relax a little before you give yourself an aneurysm! I’m sure he is growing tired of listening to you rant on about other females who are obviously as interesting to him as their lifeless attempts to grab his attention. If college girls are throwing themselves at him and his raging hormones aren’t taking the bait, what is it that has you so concerned? It is readily apparent he cares about you. Getting jealous over his talking with other girls is immature. Play it cool. When he’s talking with another girl, jump in the conversation and maybe make a friend in the process. However, if other girls are texting him and hitting on him knowing he’s with you, it’s time you stand up, stand tall and make yourself more visible, confident but not catty. Be the beautiful, strong woman that he sees and loves instead of the weak, scared little girl they are walking all over. You’re jealousy is fueled by your own insecurities, which only ignites other women’s competitiveness. He is with you. Don’t change that by playing a victim and allowing envy to consume you.
Q: My girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago after being together for a year. We’re both in our 40’s, own our homes, and do pretty well for the most part. She makes more money than I do and I am positive this is why she broke up with me, even though she denies it. I know it’s about the money. Prior to the breakup, she blocked me on Facebook saying I was too jealous. I did get upset when she would like this other guy’s posts and not mine, but why wouldn’t she like my stuff? Plus, I think she is going to start dating this guy she met on there. She said she wasn’t getting anything from our relationship. I know it’s about the money. She showed up at the bar I go to and didn’t say a word to me. It’s not like she ever goes there so why would she show up now? Is she trying to rub my nose in it? I asked her to call me so we could talk but now she’s blocked my cell phone. I just want to talk to her and I don’t know what to do.
A: If she says it’s not about the money, guess what? It’s probably not about the money! It seems that you are the one who can’t handle being with a woman who makes more money than you. If she didn’t bring it up and you were confident in what you are doing and comfortable with your lifestyle, it wouldn’t even be an issue for debate. Jealousy from a man lacking confidence can be a complete deal breaker. For the record, getting upset over “likes” on Facebook at your age is rather juvenile. But she is being immature as well by blocking all communication. It’s not as if you’re stalking her, otherwise she wouldn’t show up to drink at your watering hole. Stop playing her games and stop chasing her; you’re appearing desperate and she’s loving every minute of it. Back off, refrain from being so depressingly aggressive and she may come around. Then again, she may not. You have a 50/50 chance. I’m betting the farm you’ll be more fortunate if she doesn’t.