Q: My girlfriend turns 18 soon and I’m 17. We had sex in her car and we didn’t use protection. Just to be safe I texted her and told her to use Plan B. She replied that she was getting it the next day. Well, I guess she fell asleep and her mom walked in and saw our texts. Twenty minutes later I get a text from her saying, "This is her mother, I have read the messages and you are no longer able to see her. Understood?" At that moment, my heart just dropped. I replied with "Yes. I’m sorry. And I just want to let you know that I like your daughter and respect her very much." I never got a reply but obviously I can’t keep texting. So I’m trying to let the situation calm down. But I’m afraid it might not get any better. We love each other very much and I can’t imagine our long relationship ending in a split second like that. I don’t want her to lie so she could come see me, but at the same time I have to see her! This girl means so much to me and I just don’t want to go through this heartbreak of never being able to see her again. I need advice on what to do before I say or do something stupid.
A: You’ve already done something stupid. I am totally amazed that your only concern is seeing her. You’re not the least bit worried about whether or not she could be pregnant? It hasn’t even crossed your mind that her life and life as you know it could be completely transformed from a future of self-discovery and accomplishing goals into a whirlwind of scraping by just to get along amidst a screaming baby, dirty diapers and spit up? Hopefully her mother has handled the situation as she sees fit. This is exactly the reason young people should not be in relationships. You’re not mature enough to handle the emotions let alone the responsibility of your actions. You need advice on what to do? Grow up and concentrate on making a life for yourself before you ever again consider doing something so ignorant that could result in bringing another life into this world.
Q: I've always been shy in general and it takes a decent amount of time to become my friend. I've found this interferes when I meet a cute girl or when I'm trying to get a girl to like me. It’s not that I'm a loner or anything, I'm just a very closed off person and it’s hard for me to feel open with anybody. I feel that every time I try and get a girl to like me I feel so nervous because I'm scared of getting too attached in general. Any ideas on how to improve on this? I feel like this is a huge turn off for girls. I'm 18 and have been doing the usual: being myself, keeping up with good hygiene and my friends say I'm funny. I just haven't met a girl who stands out I guess. How do I improve my chance with girls so that I can have more options? I want a relationship not a one night stand or anything. For me to like a girl I have to want to spend a lot of time with her and she has to be funny and cool but pretty at the same time.
A: Being a tad shy and guarded is not necessarily a terrible trait. However, once you begin to realize you’re having difficulty in one or more areas of your life as a result of the walls around your heart, it may be time to slowly dislodge a few bricks. The perfect girl is not going to suddenly appear and say, “Here I am!” You have to meet people, a number of them, and put yourself out there without any expectations. The moment you expect anything is the very moment you will not get it. It’s not unheard of to simply date these days without having a one-nighter. Dating is usually a prerequisite to any relationship. You have to dip your toes in the water before you know if it’s the right temperature. How can you already be afraid of getting too attached before you have a relationship? Oxymoron anyone? Lighten up and learn to enjoy your encounters rather than contemplate the possibility of a future, or lack there of. The only turn off here is trying too hard and then retreating.