Some want to know how I got to be 210 pounds.
It was a gradual process, a period of several years. To go into depth as to how I ballooned to that weight would require dredging up feelings, situations and individuals who have not been forgotten, but have been either buried or forgiven ... as far as I am concerned.
Usually weight gain is an outward manifestation of an inward problem, be it mental, emotional or physical.
For me, it was all of these. I was sad, depressed and dealing with thyroid and severe endometrial conditions. Mainly, I was sad and depressed.
To talk about these in-depth would require discussing the emotional pain and, yes, I would even go as far as to say anguish certain individuals have caused me, as well as discussing the emotional pain I have caused them.
I choose not to do this in a public forum as I would quite literally, without having to mention any names, still reveal their identities.
Forgiveness, as far as I am concerned, means I do not forget. But it does mean I do not hold grudges, I do not hold any animosity, and I have no desire for revenge. Forgiveness can be a long process.
But once forgiveness has taken place, the choice to let go of the pain others have caused me or I have caused them becomes cathartic.
So shedding the weight, if you so choose, can be likened to that of shedding the inward problem(s) through forgiveness.
TO CLARIFY: I was elated to see 180 pounds on the scale May 17. But as stated in my blog that scale reading took place at approximately 7:30 a.m.. I also stated as the day goes on our bodies put on weight from food intake, as well as various other reasons.
Do you remember I stated how interesting it would be to see what the scale would read when I weighed in at approximately 2 p.m. later that same day?
Well, I stand true to my statement. I weighed in at exactly 182 pounds.
For this week's weigh-in, I feel somewhat pressured now to weigh in at 180.
This past week, I have stuck to my regular eating plan. But for the past three days, I have eaten more dairy and bread than I usually do. The past three days (May 21 through May 23 ) have been spent visiting with various friends and to refuse their meal/menu choices would have been very rude.
To say the least, I may have gone hungry. Going hungry in a weight loss competition is not an option, even if means I may have had to eat something that only slightly compares to my normal diet.