Leave Feedback

You don't have to get snotty

Jason Werling • Mar 23, 2010 at 6:28 PM

You don't have to get snotty.

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED, unless you are or have been a parent of a toddler.

This may sound a little gross, which is why I have added the warning above, but as a parent I'm hoping you all can relate.

My wife and I have two sons, one is three-years-old and the other is 21-months-old. This is the first time I am going to blog about them, but I'm sure it won't be the last. With the roller coaster of changing temperatures this fall both of our boys have been battling the occasional cold and sniffles. What I don't understand is where all of the snot comes from.

I have had my share of colds and have lived with a box of tissues, but the amount that pours out of their two small noses is unbelievable. Four little rivers of slime oozing their way to the upper lip.

That is where my description will end. I'm grossing myself out.

There are plenty of ways to combat the mucous march including, but not limited to...

1) Following them around with a countless supply of tissues and wipe their noses every 30 seconds. This is not a very good use of time and I think I would end up giving them a permanent red mustache from the irritation.

2) Getting ahead of the game and using the "blue-syringe-sucker-thing" (That is the technical name for it) and clear out their noses to give me time to make a meal or put away laundry/dishes between wipes. If any of you have used the "blue-syringe-sucker-thing" you know that kids, especially babies, hate it and trying to use it is like playing pin the tail on the donkey with a live donkey.

3) Wrapping their forearms with receiving blankets. Our youngest has found that he can alleviate the problem by using his sleeves.  We just have to make sure we put him in long-sleeved shirts. My wife has started using the former receiving blankets as oversized handkerchiefs. That has worked well and I would recommend the same, just wash them frequently.

If anyone out there has or is looking to develop a booger diaper, I think they will make a lot of money. But I'm not sure how that would work or what it would look like, maybe like a surgical mask.

There, I have gotten that off my chest. If you have read this far, Congratulations, you must know what I am talking about or you are also looking for answers.

Recommended for You